10 Confessions Of A People Pleaser We Politely Ask You To Learn

10 Confessions Of A People Pleaser We Politely Ask You To Learn

All the things we wish you knew

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You have at least one person in your life that is a people pleaser. They tend to go out of their way to make other people feel better and don't pay as much attention to themselves. Well now is the time to find out some thoughts that your people-pleasing friends have been urging to tell you.

1. We don’t actually want to do what you asked us to do

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We just don't know how to say no without making you feel like crap.

2. We HATE conflict

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We will probably back down in a conversation so it does escalate into an argument. It is also super stressful being the friend to try to keep the peace and keep everyone happy.

3. We may seem perfect, but we are far from it

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Sometimes it seems like we have our whole life together, but we don't.

4. Our siblings are usually jealous of us

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Moms always love the people pleaser! Our siblings may say they don't care, but they secretly do.

5. We think of the politest way to say ‘No’

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6. Please do not make us the deciding factor in ANYTHING

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7. We tend to overbook ourselves

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We try to please everyone and do as many things as possible, but we tend to bite more off than we can chew.

8. At night we play through the day to see things we could have avoided, but didn’t

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It raises some anxiety, honestly.

9. People just assume you’re a ‘go with the flow’ kind of person

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We are the definition of the "Yes" Man!

10. We wish someone would think about us every once in a while.

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We think about everyone else, but sometimes we want to be the one taken care of and pleased with what we want.

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black and white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble; and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time, until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling; whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die," or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you, you are not alone.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionhotline.org to live chat with someone. Help it out there and you are not alone.


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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To The Person That Doesn't Understand The Sadness

While this random sadness seems to take over your life, you can fight back.

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Have you ever felt an unexplainable sadness that just seems to consume you? You aren't alone. Here's to you and to push through, no matter how hard it gets.

I know you think there's something wrong with you, that you're "messed up" or that you just don't seem to have the ability to smile, but none of that is true. Nothing is wrong with you. Sometimes, as humans, we experience these things and they don't quite make sense to us or the people around us.

While this random sadness seems to take over your life, you can fight back. Keep living as if the sadness was never there. When you don't feel like getting out of bed, don't feel bad. Don't feel like a burden on society. Sometimes we all just need a break from everything going on in our lives.

You can't seem to wrap your head around the idea that people have been happy since birth or that sometimes people don't ever experience this feeling of being sad unless they have a reason to. It's a concept a lot of people struggle with, myself included. But that doesn't mean that you aren't meant to be happy.

The sadness comes and goes in waves, right? One second you'll be having an amazing time with your friends or family, and the next you'll be wishing you were curled up in bed, blasting sad music and ignoring the world. Don't let it take over. Enjoy those moments as much as you can. We have to push ourselves to live like we're happy all the time.

Don't be discouraged when someone doesn't understand what you're going through. It's not something everyone will be able to understand, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself if they try to invalidate your feelings.

You feel like nobody wants to listen or help you because they've got their own demons they're dealing with. Don't feel that way. I promise that someone out there is willing to listen, whether it's a friend, a family member, or even a therapist. Someone out there wants to listen. They want to help you get better. As humans, it's programmed into us to help one another in times of need.

I know that sometimes the sadness gets overwhelming. It takes control of your everyday life. It hurts your performance in school, it causes rifts in your social life, it manifests itself and takes over your body and you feel like you can't stop it. Sometimes you cant, but sometimes you have that tiny bit of motivation to get up and face the day. Don't let that go to waste. Speaking from personal experience, whatever you decide to do that day will be infinitely better than just laying in bed.

It's hard trying to pretend everything is okay, just to make sure nobody worries about you. Let them worry. Tell them you're not okay and talk about it. Keeping it all in isn't going to help you get better. It's going to weigh you down more and more until eventually, you break. Breaking is the worst part about this all because once you break the feeling grows bigger and bigger.

You aren't alone in how you feel. None of us are. We just need to realize that and come together to conquer it. I believe in you.

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