As humans, we are guaranteed to have relationships with the people around us. Whether that be with friends, family, or significant others, let's try to make the most of these relationships. In order to have a healthy relationship, we need to recognize these five red flags.
1. They're possessive
It is natural and normal to feel jealous from time to time when it comes to our relationships. However, when jealousy turns to a point where the person is trying to control aspects of your life, that is a red flag.
You should be able to set boundaries and have your significant others respect those boundaries. By no means should anyone ever try to control who you are with or what you can do. You are a free individual. You don't need to abide by someone else's rules.
2. They try to sabotage you
Sabotage is never okay. When a person tries to ruin your reputation, successes, or achievements, they are doing it to hurt you. They won't do these things if they care about you. Sabotage is an act done on purpose.
It is not an accident or mistake when someone does something like this. Your significant other should be encouraging and supportive of your successes and achievements.
3. They belittle you
It is okay to get mad and argue in relationships; civil discourse is a normal function of our lives. However, tearing down others and not addressing their actions is not okay. No one should ever make you feel less than who you are. I think we often forget to talk about the person's actions.
Instead, we assign the choices they have made to their entire identity. It is not okay to make someone feel bad about themselves, regardless of if they made a mistake or not.
4. They make you feel guilty
Guilting is when someone makes you feel bad for actions that aren't your own. Essentially, the person diffuses the responsibility of their actions onto you. In turn, they make you feel like you are responsible for what they did or will do.
Guilting can also be done in a way where the person makes it feel like it is your responsibility to keep them happy. Because we have hearts, we feel morally responsible to now make sure that person does not hurt themselves; we have now made it our responsibility to stay, even if it is toxic to our own well-being.
5. They betray you
Betrayal is one of the worst feelings or things that someone can do to another person. Betrayal is when someone purposely acts in a dishonest and disloyal way to hurt you.
Betrayal can happen in many ways. It hurts just as much every time. Betrayal destroys trust and has long term impacts on future relationships.
These are just five of many red flags that can indicate an unhealthy relationship. I believe that it is important to assess our relationships from both perspectives: how someone is treating us and how we are treating others. Sometimes we can even be the toxic one in the relationship.
Although it takes courage to admit, acknowledging, and working on these traits can make us all better significant others.
