For a decade, I was an only child; constantly struggling with the fact that my parents weren't together. My never ending battle with anxiety didn't change the fact that I was the center of my parents', my grandparents', and my aunts' and uncles' universe.
For a decade, I was alone. My mom, dad, and grandmas were my best friends - and I was okay with that. I was quiet, mature, reserved, and quite frankly, didn't have much interest in playing with other kids. My hobbies included reading and shopping; and like many only children, I tended to get most things that I wanted, within reason.
My mom and dad got married to my step-parents when I was nine. Shortly after, I got the news that shook my world and turned it upside down....
My step-mom was pregnant. And soon after, so was my mom.
I had always wanted siblings, but maybe not like this, I thought. I wanted them to be around my age so we could wear matching outfits like my friends at school did with their sisters. I wanted them to share both of my parents with me, so we could switch houses together. All the attention was going to switch to the babies. Oh no, what would the kids at school think? Almost all of their moms were long done having babies. I was full of apprehension.
Fast forward about 12 years. I'm 21 and have two 11-year-old sisters, one 8-year-old sister, and an 8-year-old brother. (Yeah, my mom and dad had some pretty similar timing.)
They are a gift from God that I never knew I needed.
Unlike most siblings who grow up, mature, and learn together, I get to watch my "babies" grow up and help them along the way. Let me tell you, nothing is more satisfying. I can only imagine what a mother's love for her children is like, or how it feels; but if I had to guess, it would be extremely close to how I feel for my brother and sisters.
Because of them, I have someone to live for. And I mean truly live for. I live to be their role model. I live to inspire them to greatness and encourage them to always chase their dreams. I live to teach them the value of kindness, and I live to see their eager, smiling faces when I come home from college.
Sure, I may not get to play sports with them, go to school with them, or experience many of life's major milestones around the same time as them, but I get to stand back and cheer them on and pick them up if they fall. I am no longer embarrassed or feel awkward when people notice or talk about the age difference. Now, I'm already looking forward to being the loudest 28/30-year-old sister cheering at their high school graduations.
I'm sure they don't know it, but they've given my life so much meaning and purpose. I never knew what I was missing all of those years without them. They are my saving grace, my world, my everything.
If only I could tell my spoiled, ten-year-old self what an impact my siblings would eventually have on my life.
I would tell her they are the greatest thing my parents could ever give me.
