This is a thank you to the three middle-aged women who fixed my mini life meltdown. While this sounds crazy, let me explain the back-story. Last week, my best friend and I took a trip to Indian Shores, Florida for an entire week. As a way of coping with our complete lack of a plan, we thought lounging on a beach might help clear up some of our fears and worries. One night, while enjoying the fire pit overlooking the Intercoastal Bay from our condo, we were joined by some visitors.

Three women, just about to hit 40, walked out onto the patio, beer bottles in hand, and sat down in the remaining seats surrounding the fire. It didn’t take long for the five of us to strike up a conversation. In short, the night ended hours later after too many stories, laughs and much needed advice. It was as if the quarter life crisis gods felt so sorry for my friend and I that they sent us the most perfect gift: three guardians that I am convinced were our future selves. Even though there is no chance that one of them will ever end up reading this, I feel like there is still gratitude to be expressed.

So, thank you. Thank you to the women who told us that it’s more than okay to not have everything figured out. Thank you for letting us know that we shouldn’t have anxiety about not having serious boyfriends, because love runs on its own time and there’s no sense in worrying. They reassured us that there is no need to panic if marriage and a family isn’t in the immediate future, or if it’s not even part of the plan at all. Most importantly, thank you for encouraging us to not care. When I say not caring, I don’t mean that we shouldn’t be concerned about the directions of our lives, or our own well-being. I mean that we shouldn’t care what others think or say. We shouldn’t care about the progress that everyone around us is making, or that their choices are better than ours. Their choices might not even be the right ones.

When we left the fire pit that night, maybe it was the Florida air on the sand still stuck on my feet, but I felt a weight lift off of me. I had spent so much time obsessing about the life I was living, and the direction I wanted it to go. On top of that, I spent even more time fearing that I was wrong, and that my path was only leading to failure. Over the course of the hours we spent talking to those women, they crushed my fears and validated my dreams. Our life shouldn’t look like anyone else’s life, and their shouldn’t be pressure for it to. I wish there was a better way to show the appreciation that I have for what those women taught us, because I feel like whatever I say will never be enough to convey how grateful I am, but for now, I’ll leave it at thank you.