About two years ago I had to read a short passage for my World Literature class and it was about all of the things this girl had been told about how to live her life. My professor then asked us to write something similar. It was a relatively open assignment and it was open to our interpretation.
We as a society expect so much from everyone - guys and girls. We expect guys to act this way and girls to act that way... but at the same time they cannot act like that. It's insane the amount of pressure and standards we shove down the throats of human beings - young and old, male and female. I would like to share what I wrote for that class. The way it was supposed to be formatted was basically one long sentence and I hope this gives you a little insight into the mind of a girl who feels like she can never meet the standards of society. I've added some things to this because in the last two years more things have been said to me and I've felt more pressure to be the type of person society says I should be.
What I wrote are all things that have been said to me throughout my life or the standards that have been placed on me - said or unsaid. A lot of what I wrote is about the contradicting things and double standards that have been forced on me. Here it is:
Make good grades; brush your hair; have straight teeth; have white teeth; dress up but don’t look like you are trying too hard; don’t wear too much makeup because it makes you look trashy; wear enough makeup so it makes you look like you care about your appearance; dress modestly – don’t advertise what isn’t for sale; you should wear shorter shorts; you will wish your shorts were shorter when we get out; don’t be so picky; you should lose some weight; you should love your body the way it is; don’t you want to have a more toned body?; you should have more self-esteem and a better self-image; be kind to everyone; you're too nice; be assertive and stand up for yourself; study all the time; don’t focus so much on school; go out and live your life and have fun; but make good grades and study a lot; find something you're passionate about; find something that makes a lot of money; if you loved me you'd sleep with me; you must walk and carry yourself like a lady; don’t be weak; look weak so boys will feel more masculine; smile even if you’re sad; don’t let people know when you are upset; make sure you always tell people the way you feel; don’t bottle up your feelings; keep your insecurities and feelings to yourself; don't be so uptight; loosen up; boys like wild girls; boys want a good girl, just not now; lower your standards; don’t talk so loud; don’t be so bossy; be assertive; wear your hair like this; style your hair like this; that's what you want to do with your life?; do something your passionate about; I just don't think that would be a fulfilling job; this is how you should act in public; this is how you should treat teachers; this is how you should treat your parents; this is how you should treat your friends; this is how you treat other women; this is how you treat women prettier than you; this is how you treat women less attractive than you; this is how you treat boys; this is how you treat nice boys; this is how you treat rude boys; this is how you treat people different than you; also, treat everyone equally; remember that women and men are equals; portray yourself as weaker though so that men feel empowered; don’t be afraid to go after what you want; that's not what you should do with your life; be nice to the people you don’t like; be nice to the people who are mean to you; don’t forget to stand up for yourself when people are bullying you; don’t cause conflict; let the little things go; talk about the little things that bother you; you have to go to church to be a Christian; Christianity is about your relationship with God, not about how often you go to church; you didn’t go to church Sunday... do you even believe in God?; it's your life, do what you want; go to school and make good grades and work for someone until you retire and die; money is all that matters; find a job that makes you happy no matter how much money it makes; do what is best for you even if some people get hurt in the process; always take into consideration other people’s feelings; do for others first before you do for you; you should take care of yourself; you’re beautiful; why don’t you like the way you look?; you’re ugly; hey maybe you should look more like this; dress like a girl and always look cute; dress comfortably; it doesn’t matter how you dress, what matters is the inside; seriously that’s what you’re wearing?; you should look like the girls in magazines; embrace your natural beauty and what God gave you; look like this; talk like this; be like this; dress like this; act like this; oh, but be yourself.
I am so sick of the standards that are placed on men, women, boys, and girls. I'm tired of trying to live up to what everyone thinks I should be and I plan on being completely me from now on. It's time we accepted people the way they are, no matter what.
