Why You Shouldn't Neglect Your Friends For Your Boyfriend

Why You Shouldn't Neglect Your Friends For Your Boyfriend

"Boyfriends are for now, friends are forever"
516
views

I still remember how I felt when I finally realized my friend didn’t understand that by always spending time with her boyfriend (and when I say always, I mean literally 24/7) she was hurting me. And then years later, when a friend of hers made her finally understand that feeling I had felt as she ignored my friend for her new boyfriend. Let me tell you, it was quite the day for me. I finally got that apology I had never received before, and the thank you for sticking around even when I didn't know if it was worth it.

Don’t get me wrong, relationships are great, given that they’re healthy, committed, and with the right person for you. However, I will never understand the mindset that “oh, you understand we don’t need to spend time together to be friends. I already have plans with my boyfriend.” Like, that’s awesome, go on a dinner date, study together, drag him to the mall, I don’t care. But make sure you find a day to spend with your friends. The ones who were around before the boyfriend was, and if it unfortunately doesn’t work out, the ones who will be picking up the pieces of you later.

Because that’s the thing that I think gets overlooked. Girls say they’re “so in love” or “I know he’s the one.” And if he makes you happy, I hope that he is. But if you’re wrong, if you two don’t last forever, who’s going to be there for you when he’s not around anymore? If you don’t find time to at least grab a coffee or be there for me when I need someone to talk to, I probably won’t still be waiting around for you to take the time to be my friend again.

And the hard part here is, there’s sort of this weird tension that can occur when a friend starts a relationship. You suddenly find yourself with exponentially more free time while she’s busy with him, and maybe as a result she thinks you're jealous of the time she spends with him. And sure, maybe this is true some of the time. But the problem occurs when the friend in the relationship stops seeing that maybe it isn't all jealousy, but that you just miss her. This goes both ways, too. I’ve seen guys in relationships have friends who start to question whether or not their friendship is still relevant when they never hangout anymore. Which in my opinion is completely valid. The entire basis of a friendship is a mutual bond of affection, someone you can lean on, confide in, who will be there to laugh with and cry with no matter what.

So I guess the reminder here is this: no matter who enters your life, or how important they seem at the time, don’t forget about the other people who you used to surround yourself with, or take them for granted. If you don’t make time for them now, they won’t make time for you later on; they’ll have moved on. And maybe you’ll be right and this relationship was the one, but life gets pretty lonely when you don’t have friends to share it with. They’re the ones you can vent to about your relationship and tell funny stories about your boyfriend to. So don’t forget about the friends who have been by your side, so that you don’t ever have to feel the pain of them leaving it.

Cover Image Credit: http://brownsista.com/relationship-donts-lovers-over-friends/affectionate-young-couple-ignoring-nearby-friend/

Popular Right Now

College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
34383
views

The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Summer = Rest?

Sometimes it feels as if we need a vacation... from our vacation.

306
views

Ah summer: Popsicles and sun burns, mixed with fresh-squeezed lemonade that local kids are pandering to make enough money for Roman candles and Black Cats. The crack of the bat can be heard among the simmering charcoal grills and Troy-bilts humming through the ever-lasting sun. School is out and children are wild. It's a paradise.

Or is it?

But after countless sports camps and tournaments, other camps, vacations, school (?) events, traveling teams, VBS, summer seems to have been sucked fun-free.

Maybe it's Hollywood and Harper Lee's fault for giving us this utopian view of what summer should look and feel like (I'm looking at you Sandlot). But how can we really rest this summer? Because everyone needs some actual rest, even adults.

First thing is do NOT pack your summer full. Say no to some things. Coaches and Families can expect too much and it's okay to say no to them. You have to. There is no time for kids to be kids anymore.

Work can take a backseat. Vacations need to be taken. Families need to reconnect.

And for all my super-scheduled people out there, please PLEASE don't schedule out your vacation. Just enjoy it.

Another bit of advice would be to put away the technology and spend some time outside. When was the last time you tried to catch lightning bugs? Or went for a swim? Or listened to birds on your front porch?

I may sound like I have an old soul, but I really feel like we have lost this connection to the outside world. Summer is all about getting a farmer's tan and getting stung once or twice. I can guarantee you that's some of the best therapy in the world.

Maybe this sounds all over the place. Maybe this sounds like me ranting. And it probably is.

But I'm telling you that this stuff matters. Don't let summer whiz by and you arrive in August more drained that you were in May. Enjoy this time with family and friends.

Related Content

Facebook Comments