There is a lot of talk from older generations about how cell phones are single-handedly ruining how we live our everyday lives. This has been used to justify why Millennials are antisocial and why they have a need for instant gratification, but it has also been used to explain why we date differently. Cell phones give us access to people all around the globe, which means an never ending stream of potential partners.
Within monogamous relationships people often complain that their significant other is constantly on their phone. You hear it almost every day, from friends to social media to television. It’s a common enough complaint that people even end their entire relationships over it. If you want your relationship to stand the test of time you need to accept your partner’s cell phone use.
Why fight with them if you’re watching television and they are playing a game? Is it really necessary to lose your cool when they are scrolling through Facebook while you’re eating lunch? The answer ultimately is no.
The constant arguing about cell phone use all boils down to jealousy. One person is jealous this object is getting all of the time and attention that should be going to them. This can be a breeding ground for worse emotions like insecurity and trust issues. It’s important to realize that in a monogamous relationship there is a deep rooted commitment between the two people. They like each other so much that they want to experience life together.
Experiencing life together as a couple means that they feel comfortable and at ease when the two people are together. They can unwind and relax when they are with you, and one thing a lot of people tend to do when they are relaxing is play on their phones. Phone use leads you to open your eyes to how close and comfortable you are with your partner. When people first start dating they rarely take their phones out because they want to give you all of your attention, but as the weeks go on you both start using your phone more and more around each other. You’re comfortable with your partner knowing the passcode to your phone and you let them peek over your shoulder while you’re scrolling through social media.
Your significant other’s phone use isn’t about them ignoring you at all, contrary to what most people believe. In monogamous relationships people are with each other because they see potential in that person. There’s the potential that they could be “the one”, which means possibly marriage and possibly children. In order for things to get that serious they need to fully incorporate you into their life, just as you have to do with them. Part of that is incorporating you into those lazy moments where all they really want to do is play the newest viral game or go through their emails. You need to be willing to go along with it and relax with them whether it’s on the couch or while you’re out to dinner.
In the 21st century cell phones are vital to our everyday life so they need to be embraced wholeheartedly. It is sad to see relationships end over something that has become commonplace in our society.
