In the beginning, all relationships are fun, romantic and almost effortless. But then reality sets in and you realize you are sharing your life with another human, another human with goals, ambitions, and fears just like you. When a relationship moves from simple to serious, it's time to have THAT conversation about whether you and your partner are working towards the same future. If not, you both will get hurt in the long run.

Not everyone wants to think too far into the future, but a little future vision is needed to figure out what your deal breakers are. Do you want children? What kind of relationship do you want (monogamous, open, etc)? How are you with money? Is one of you a neat freak? I know these are all difficult and personal questions that you may not want to ask or answer, but if the relationship is serious, you don't have much of a choice.

I may be biased in that I think of the future a bit more than I should. However, in this case, I'm thinking it's actually an advantage for me. When I date someone, I, of course, am enjoying the present and let myself get carried away in the heart floating niceties, but I'm never one to dismiss the future. For instance, I know I want kids someday. If the person I'm with doesn't seem like a good parent or make it clear they do not nor do they ever want kids, I know I don't have a future with them and any further amount of emotional investment I make with that person is just digging myself deeper into a very confusing and emotionally laden hole.

Asking questions about your future compatibility with your partner can absolutely bring you guys closer together. At the same time, these things can also pull you apart. As hard as it might seem in the moment to ask and answer personal and future probing questions, it's always better to know before you get too invested in someone whether or not you are a good match.