If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume that you’re in a bit of a pickle, one most all of us have been in or will be in: You’re not sure whether or not to tell someone how you feel about him or her. Bless you, for this may be one of the most seemingly simple, but difficult dilemmas of life. Whether you’re 15 years old and it’s your first real crush, or 80 years old, baring your soul and confessing true emotion is one of the scariest things—being vulnerable is terrifying.
I’ve been where you are, multiple times actually. I don’t know your exact situation, and I’d never pretend to. Sometimes its messy, and telling someone you care about them doesn’t have an exact recipe. We worry our emotions will burden them, that we’ll lose them if they don’t feel the same way, or that we wouldn’t be able to bear their rejection.
Let’s be realistic: Although there is always the chance that they’ll feel the same and you’ll fall madly in love, if that was going to happen, you’d probably know by now. Truthfully, there’s a good chance the other person doesn’t feel the same way. Your words will be shaky and the tears will start to pool in the corners of your eyes, waiting to hit the floor while you conjure up the courage to squeeze the right words from your vocal cords. You’ll have practiced what you were going to say a million times, and all of the sudden everything will escape you, leaving you, the other person, and nothing but raw emotion. After all of this preparation and bomb dropping, they’ll tell you they don’t feel the same way.
Good for both of you. Good for you for being vulnerable. Good for them for being truthful. Good for you for loving. Good for them for having the courage to care for you enough not to pretend.
Rejection is horrible—you feel so incredibly stupid—but rejection is a blessing as well. It teaches you that what you think you need may not be what is sitting in front of you. Rejection teaches you that you’re strong—it hurts, but it won’t kill you unless you let it. It doesn’t really get easier, it’s scary every time, but it gets less and less scary. You’ll get braver, and the next time you need to tell someone that their presence makes your heart want to explode with joy, it will be different, because you’ll know that their response doesn’t define you.
While my words may have just diverted you from your plans to lay your heart on the line, I want to ensure you that that was not the intent. I know I’ve told one too many people, a little too early, that they are the light of my life, but I don’t regret any of those times. I thank them for their honesty. Yes, it was awkward, but I am still alive. I still love, and fortunately most of those individuals are still in my life. Just because that one person doesn’t love you now, doesn’t mean they won’t later, and telling them how you feel may just plant that seed in them.
That being said, I hope you love with all of your heart, take a risk, and talk about your feelings, and deal with their response with the upmost class and understanding (cry later if applicable). Best of luck to you, whether or not you choose to share your feelings, and remember, you are wonderful and worthy of love!
