During my high school career I spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I was. I started with one friend group and eventually made my way to another. I didn't know where I wanted to categorize myself. Was I a band geek or a sporty athlete? Did I like to party on the weekends or stay in and hang with friends? While trying to figure out where thought I belonged, I began to lose track of who I really was. I ended up finding myself trying different things. I was always found with a bottle in my hand or a different boy in my life. I can honestly say I was nowhere near in my life to loving who I was as a person, even though at that time I would have told you I did.
As I began my college career, I took a step back and reevaluated myself. There were no social boundaries. There wasn't a stereotype and I began to find what I loved. That was me. I loved who I was. I loved that I was so diverse. I started wearing my hair more natural, began wearing clothes that I personally loved, eventually finding myself happier than ever. I learned that for once I could go out to a party being sober and still have a good time, or that if I didn't feel like going out that night I wasn't shamed on. From there I began to love myself deeper, I learned to love all my flaws. My acne, my long legs, the little pouch I have on my belly, my birthmarks, every part of those things made me who I am. I am not saying I was able to love myself in one day nor am I saying I am happy with everything. I still wish I went to the gym more or ate healthier but that doesn't make me love who I am any less.
Once I was able to love myself I found more and more people loving me. Not the artificial me, but the one who I wanted to truly show to everyone. I eventually was blessed to find genuine friends who were unique in their own ways. Within my first year, I was able to find my amazing boyfriend who helped show me that I needed to love myself before I could be loved. My message is that when you find yourself, your true self, learn to love it. Life will be a little easier and you will be a stronger individual. Trust me, you will be much happier.
