I’m not sure how I’m supposed to talk to you these days. It feels odd to try and speak to you in the same caring way that I once did. Even when it’s just a “hello” there’s a permanent sternness in my voice. Our messages are short, and our mutual friends treat our names like taboo words. It’s as if we aren’t supposed to be friendly to each other anymore. Maybe it’s best this way. Maybe if we spoke we’d fall back in love instantly. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. But, whether we like it or not, we shared experiences that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives. We can try to ignore them, but they will always come back around.

As time has gone by, you and me have continued to follow each other on various social media outlets. It’s really the only interaction we have, and even there our interactions are sparse. We "like" the important pictures, reminding ourselves not to get too personally involved. Pictures of our birthdays, our graduations, our new pets are safe "likes." A part deep down inside of me still gets excited whenever I see your name pop up in my notifications. Whether or not that’s healthy at this point, who knows. But it happens. Recently something in your updates has caught my eye -- you’re not alone anymore. There is someone with you in every post, and they have been for a while. I’ve seen you in other relationships before, and it’s not odd for me because I do want the best for you and I’m truly happy when you are happy.

What bothers me is not that you are in a relationship. What bothers me is that you’re in a relationship here. We spent long sleepless nights telling each other our dreams and our ambitions. The things that we wanted to achieve and how we wanted to conquer the world that lied ahead of us. So, I can’t help but ask myself why you aren’t traveling the world. Why you aren’t helping little kids in impoverished nations. Why you aren't doing the things you once dreamt of. People grow and people change, which is fine. But, as long as these are changes you’ve made by yourself, for yourself. A relationship should not limit you, but support you and help you achieve what you really want to do. If they care, they’ll be there when you get back. Maybe they’ll even go with you so you can experience these moments together. Perhaps I’m being a bit presumptuous, but it’s only because I care. Believe me, there is nothing I want more than to find someone that means the world to me and be loved and experience life with them. But, I also want to see the world and fulfill my ambitions, even if I fail and even if I’m alone.

I may have given up on the idea of you and me. But, I haven’t given up on you. Whatever decisions you make in life and however you decide to live, I’ll support you. But, all I hope is that you’re living the life you’ve always wanted without anything holding you back. Whenever you decide to tackle the world, know that you’ll have an old friend behind you every step of the way.