We always hear about the struggles of long distance relationships, and how hard they can be on mental health and make you feel less secure in your relationship. While I know and recognize that long distance relationships can be very difficult, I also believe that short distance relationships can be difficult at times too. Here's why:
A little backstory: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over three years, and for the most part, it has been rainbows and butterflies. He lives five minutes down the road from me, and while in high school, we were inseparable. Every free moment we had, we clung to each other like glue. I was beyond blessed to have been able to continue that close-knit relationship through our college career.
However, as we continued forward, and the honeymoon phase slowly let go of its grip on us, we had some decisions to make, and fast. How often would we see each other? How often was too much? How could we get through something that should be simple and easy, while ensuring we don't grow too sick of each other?
Our parents often refer to us as a "married couple," and simply put, I think it had been true for quite some time. We were never able to become who we were destined to become, because we were constantly by each other's sides. Now, this is not me saying that I am anything other than grateful to have had a man like him to keep me stable, and to hold me down when I needed love and support. But this is me simply saying that the constant need for attention from the other person quickly became unhealthy. The mystery had disappeared, and we knew each other almost "too well." From this, tension arose and we had to learn quickly how to address these dilemmas, in order to keep the love we had for each other growing.
Throughout the past year of being in college, we have learned a lot about how important distance is for a relationship. Not only does it create mystery and excitement, but it creates a passion that could not have been achieved if we had continued to need each other by our sides every second of every day. We have learned that texting isn't always the best form of communication, even if it is easier than a phone call. We have learned that problems need to be addressed by hearing both sides and perspectives. We have learned how meaningful a hug can be when you allow yourself distance for even a few days. To be hugged and to be loved by him is all I could have ever dreamed of, and I am beyond grateful to be able to experience those hugs and kisses on random days, rather than a plan set in stone.
So to all of you ladies and gentleman who feel overwhelmed by your significant other being by your side all the time—it is a quite easy fix. Not only is acknowledging how important they are to you necessary, but it is also essential to discuss with them new ways to allow yourselves to grow, both individually and together. Growth is essential to any relationship, but so is space to create a growth that you can both be proud of. Creating an environment where you can grow, succeed, learn to love, and learn to be loved is essential to a long term relationship.
Find someone who encourages you to become the best version of yourself, even when they are not always by your side to see your flower bloom.
... and I pray that you all find a love like mine. Both with yourself and with your better half.
