Please tell me that I’m not the only one who barfs in my mouth a little every time I see “#goals” commented on someone’s instagram these days? It’s not a bad thing to aspire to have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship, or to even aspire to have a relationship similar to someone else’s, but the things we are considering #goals these days are down right stupid.
I’ve personally had friends comment “goals” on a picture of my boyfriend and I on instagram just because we looked cute. How does a cute picture of us on Bourbon Street or at my apartment before bar night make us a goal that you should want to strive to achieve? This picture doesn’t show you the good or not so good qualities of our relationship at all. In fact, this picture tells you nothing. How do you even know we weren’t just arguing before the picture was taken and we faked a smile? I’m not saying this is what actually happened, but it’s a possibility for sure.
Another example would be when I see a girl in what’s considered a “top house” sorority who’s dating a boy in a “top house” fraternity and people are commenting on that fact that they’re the perfect couple and such #shipgoals (for those who don’t know that would be referring to relationship goals). Or even when a girl posts a candid picture of her and her boyfriend on instagram and we are gushing over how #goals they are. I don’t know about her boyfriend, but I know I would have to basically force mine to take candid pictures with me. How is that goals?
Now what I can give you are some examples of real #shipgoals that you can strive to achieve. My dad buys my mom two dozen roses every single Valentine’s Day because “he loves her twice as much.” He stops by her happy hour with the girls every once and a while to pay their tab, just because. He wakes up early to take the dogs out when he knows she’s had a long day before and doesn’t want the pesky puppies to wake her up. When he lets her sleep in he sits on the couch and shushes every one of us kids that comes down stairs so we know not to wake her. These are goals.
My mom surprises him with random hunting gear that he loves and never expects, just because she loves to see the surprised look on his face. She cooks him dinner every night, and she makes his coffee every Saturday morning just how he likes it. She brings him ice-cold water or Gatorade out to his shop when he’s working on fixing one of the family members cars, just because.
It’s the little, meaningful things that I have noticed growing up and want to remember so that I can have as wonderful of a marriage as they have had for the past 21 years (and many more to come). It’s not the outfits they wear, or the pictures they post that make me want to be like them. They are real #goals and we should stop looking at the superficial and sometimes staged pictures on social media as examples of relationships we should aim for. So next time your scrolling through your instagram feed and see one of those cringe worthy comments, ask yourself, are they really #goals after all?
