Every summer I have a list of things I want to do with the extra time I have on my hands. Normal things on my yearly list include making time for writing, personal reading, working out, and sleeping in. I think the summer time for students is extremely difficult because of the underlying pressure that you must be doing more given the more flexible hours. However, this summer I want to introduce something new to my life. I really want to challenge my thinking and old habits. This summer I want to redefine what putting in the work means for me
When I say putting in the work or focusing I don’t mean focusing on outputs but rather paying just as much attention to outputs as my inputs. I want to better prioritize my emotional wellbeing because I don't want to accomplish things just to not be sane or healthy enough to enjoy the fruits of my labor. This is rather difficult because as a culture we have normalized toxic behavior by labeling those without balance "workaholics" as a compliment.
Being a workaholic isn't cute, but rather indicative of an insecurity or self-worth issue. I say this because insecure people often overcompensate in hopes of being recognized. I don't want my self-worth to be tied up to a company, a position, or anything other than what I decided to define as worthy. I came to this realization not in an epiphany but rather through multiple signs.
These signs included drifting relationships because I was "busy", excuses or failure in other areas. It's not healthy nor normal to only be succeeding in one area of our lives because each of the parts of our lives plays a ginormous role in shaping who we are. We should instead be seeking balance.
In a recent Atlanta episode, Donald Glover did a great job of calling into question grind culture. In the season finale, Earl was experiencing an unwavering amount of frustration and job insecurity. Most of his frustration and insecurity stemmed from the fact that despite the countless hours he was putting into his cousin's career he felt like his results weren't measuring up with his desires.
Sometimes I feel like it's harder to make a decision about whether to continue something or not when the results aren't adequate to your standard rather than zero results. To me seeing zero results means it's time to walk away or throw that plan out while minimal results can leave you feeling conflicted.
I admired the honesty offered up in the episode as shown through the heart to heart between Darius and Earl. Earl went on time and time again about how he didn't quite understand why he had to struggle at every turn. Darius, quickly reminded him that failure was just as imperative as was putting in the work. He then a went a step further to validate the work that Earl was doing and remind him that his growth was visible to those around him.
We could all use a Darius in our lives, but the harsh reality is that we can't always get this. Everyone is jumping through their own set of hoops just to coexist with us. So someone's failure to validate the work we are doing doesn't equate to them not believing in us or having a personal investment it just means sometimes we have to be our own personal cheerleaders.
That's why I'm challenging myself to be more balanced. It's not healthy to have tunnel vision on singular a goal all the time. Once a week I want to start detailing a list of what I want to improve on rather than change since personal change is very rarely abrupt but rather gradual. Additionally, I want to start glamorizing my emotional work as well because God can't give you what want unless you're in the right headspace to recieve it.
