When you have a boyfriend in college, the going out scene can become difficult. By that, I don't mean difficult as in resisting an urge to flirt with other men. If that is something you are into, to each his own. For me and multiple girls I know in relationships, not so much.
What I mean is, not having the ability and freedom to talk to another person of the opposite sex casually, regardless of the topic of conversation, because you will be immediately deemed, a slut.
Boys, I am going to explain something that might seem like news to you in the simplest way I can put it. If you are having an ordinary conversation with a pretty new girl, regardless of if she is in a relationship or not:
You are, in no circumstances, entitled to that woman.
By entitled, I mean you will not immediately receive sex after the conversation is over. You do not have the right to touch her in ways that are inappropriate, and you do not have the right to make cruel comments at her when she puts you in your place for being too flirty when she tells you she is in a relationship.
You went to shoot your shot, it just didn't work. Learn how to take the heat, baby!
Too many times have my friends and I been in uncomfortable situations where men believe that since we grace them with a 10-minute conversation about our day, does that mean we are interested in being intimate with you. We are loyal to our boyfriends, you just need to understand and respect that. I'm going to tell you about him whether you like it or not!
Slut shaming a woman who remains faithful to her partner at a party after you find out she is in a relationship not only diminishes her self-worth and right to be at that party talking to whomever she wants, but proves how much of a piece of scum you truly are! Don't assume that just because I am talking to you that this conversation is not strictly platonic, because I promise, it is.
Ask any girl in a relationship what it is like to go to a party, I promise she will say the same thing! She finds herself stranded from her friends, talking to a seemingly normal boy that hasn't shown any sides of flirtation, so she believes the coast is clear. Unfortunately, not so much.
Next, come the cringe-worthy and unwanted compliments, maybe an awkward touch on the hip or arm. Uh Oh, it's time. "I have a boyfriend" blurts out of her mouth, and it goes all downhill from there. Following comes either a nasty eye roll, immediate removal of the male party from the conversation, or a rude comment. My favorites consist of, "I wasn't even flirting with you, are you kidding. Don't hype yourself up too much" or "Are you sure you have a boyfriend?" Yes Frat Boy Brad, I am positive!
Well, this conversation got awkward super fast. Thank you for yelling in my face after being honest with you and putting me in this situation! I don't appreciate it.
There is just no need to treat women like a piece of meat, we are human beings and deserved to be respected. If you pull the, "well why would you talk to me if you have a boyfriend?" card, then you might be less intelligent than I thought. Ever think maybe she is a genuinely nice and outgoing person, and you are just too naive and horny to look past that?
Whatever you do, do not mistake our friendliness, sarcasm, and ability to carry a normal conversation as flirtation.
We are told to use our voices, yet when we speak up, we are lashed at and shamed by someone we will most likely never see again. And sometimes it hurts, because we know it isn't true. Trying to become friends with a male in college just does not work, unless you find the right guy who respects you and your relationship. Far too many times are we put in these uncomfortable situations that leave us questioning if we were in the wrong, and are in fear of being shamed because our casual conversation leads to an eruption of a response. We aren't wrong, you are just not smart for thinking flirting, and slut-shaming a girl with a boyfriend is a nice thing to do.
Boys, if she has a boyfriend, be mindful of what you say.
You don't have the right to be mad at her for being in a relationship with a guy that is not you.
