Space. No not that crazy black abyss that swirls around us but the one that probably brings that crazy black abyss a little closer to home when your partner asks for it. In reality, there is no need to worry.


Let's be really clear from the start. Space is not a beak. Space is not a breakup. In fact, it is a good thing! It is two people getting back into their outside lives after being away from it for a while because they spent too much time together. Did you just spend four days together with each others' family? Have you and your partner been hanging out every chance you get? Have you or he/she/them been losing touch with your friends? Have you or your significant other been giving up what you do for fun to hang out with the other person? When these things. happen they can become overwhelming. If it is overwhelming for your partner it is most likely overwhelming for you as well, but you may not realize it yet. Both of your relationship batteries are draining and need to recenter and recharge.


The best way to recharge those batteries to a full charge and revitalize your relationship is to give each other some space. If you or your significant other ask for space it is because they care and want things to work out. If they didn't care you wouldn't be giving each other some recharge space, you would just be breaking up. Consider yourself lucky that you or your partner care enough to take some space and refocus on other aspects of your lives. By giving space you are not only giving respect to your partner but also strengthing the bonds of your relationship by giving each other a greater amount of trust and respect.




Just remember that he/she/they just need a second to catch their breathe and get back to the things they were doing before you all met. They need to rekindle their friendships, have time with their family, catch up. You have been a major part of their life for weeks, months or possibly even years and its only fair for them to have some time for their own ambitions and relationship needs. This time is also for. you


We keep talking about space but what really is space? Space is a beautifully fluid, dynamic, ambiguous term for I need some time for me AND you need some time for you so we can come back stronger than ever. So now that we have no true idea what space is but we know why it happens let's talk about how to truly make it work.


The first step to successfully giving space is to define what space means to you. Everybody defines it in their own way and the only way to know how your partner defines it is to ask. If you ask and your partner and he/she/they don't have a concrete idea offer your own ideas as a starting point. The key is to always ask out of respect for their wishes. Don't be aggressive, be caring. Don't be stubborn, be compromising. Don't be scared, be excited. Space isn't a battle where one of you needs to win, but rather a team effort to better yourselves as individuals and a team.



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When determining and establishing the boundaries of your space, be honest. If you think you both need a week of radio silence then do it. If you want to check in at night and in the morning, do that. If you think not seeing each other for a while, do that. Space is meant for the relationship to grow apart to grow stronger through distance. Your partner will become happier do the things he/she/they love and will become a happier person. That happiness will inevitably transcend into your relationship with your significant other and will lead to a more genuine, closer bond. You are respecting their need for outside happiness and vice versa.


Once the boundaries are established, be mindful to respectful. It may get lonely, it may get scary, and it may be hard, but at the end of the day, you both are recharging for when you see each other next. If it is a few days of not seeing each other or a week of radio silence, the second you see your partner greet them with the biggest smile you've ever had and let them know how you needed that space to recharge, recenter, and rejuvenate but you are so happy to see them again. Relationships are hard, but the adversity is what makes you and your partner stronger.