I was walking down a dusty, red-filled dirt road in Rwanda when the hand of a nine year old boy reached out and gently grabbed mine. It was hot outside and walking in this kind of heat had easily become our norm by then. I could have dropped his hand from mine, believing it to be too hot, but instead, I kept hold of it. It soon became a daily occurrence when we’d leave for ministry. The little boy would grab hold of my hand, I’d look down at him, we’d smile at each other and continue to walk silently for miles in the Rwandan heat until we reached our destination.

It’s been a whole year and I miss the fill of this little boy’s hand in mine every single day.

In many ways, I believe that kids know what love is all about more than adults ever will. I believe it’s in the simple act of holding a hand and filling a space that wasn’t occupied before. It’s the simple act of holding a hand and walking beside one other. This little boy and I rarely communicated through words because of the language barrier, but we did communicate through action. We expressed love to each other each day on our walks.

I think similarity in language is beautiful and important, though. In order to express emotions out loud coherently, we need that similarity to understand better. One thing I learned through my month in Rwanda a year ago is that oftentimes, things like love, friendship, and loyalty to another human being can be expressed through simple actions. I have a number of friends who I can easily walk alongside silently without speaking and I would still know that our connection stands tall because sharing space, time, and a memory together is just as important as the words that naturally fill the empty space if something needs to be said.

The number of people I met while gone during my year abroad is huge. The number that left a solid impact on me is just as large. I find that the ones that left a big impact on me are the ones that took the time to share space and time with me, the ones I made sure to share space and time with just as much. Another memory I hold near and dear to my heart is the night our Rwandan translator and his father sat with me at a table under the light of a faded lightbulb, just talking about life, family, strength, and courage. We sipped tea at the table, welcoming each other into a special presence that whispered: “you are always welcome here.”

I think we spend too much time wondering what love is and what it looks like when really? It’s the simplest thing on earth. I think that in our human nature, we have ways of making it look a lot more complicated than it really is. We want words and validation through them, when oftentimes, action is what needs to come first, and the words will follow after.

Before returning home, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to express the way I had changed to all my friends and family. One of my squad mates told me in a roundabout way to stop worrying about the words and to just express things through action, because as I’ve been saying throughout this article, words tend to flow after action. I do this now through picking up bags, doing simple things around the house, and by sharing space that I once never filled before leaving.

I learned a lot about what it means to really love through sharing space with other human beings this past year and it’s a lesson I will never stop learning over again in new ways. Years and years have gone by since I have been walking this journey with the Lord. But, the clearest thing I know to be true in my own life is that love comes softly and all at once when we are bearing with one another in good times and bad, laughing, being, and sharing space — because it matters.

Whether we like to admit it or not, the space that we fill does matter, and it leaves impressions we may never realize until we make it home to our Father’s arms.