Each week, we (Creators), are required to submit an article to be published the following Monday. At the end, right before hitting the green, submit for editing button, your article must be scheduled to post on at least one social media site. This is the part I dread each week, why? Because that means sharing these feelings with those around me, my family and friends. My sister often asks me why I can’t just wear short sleeves and show my cuts and scars, since I am open about my struggles online. It is different when you are behind a screen, typing, it makes easier to open up and hopefully help others. While walking out the house, showing something I am ashamed of and spend hours each day trying to hide has far too many risks.
When I write my posts, I often find it is during a low point in my week, which causes of the emotions in my articles to be very raw. When I first started blogging it was for You Matter, a young adult blog run by the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and it was by far one of the best decisions I have made. At first I wrote about generic topics, such as finding support groups and how to open up but I soon ran out of motivation to write about those topics. It was then I turned to my more personal and emotional writing, one of my pieces was about self-harm and I was absolutely terrified to send it in for editing, let alone publish it. That’s when I started to question why I even bothered with writing, and I realized not only did it help me, it could help others too. I set at my computer, staring at the screen for a good 30 minutes until I got the courage to send it in. I emailed Stephanie* about how I hadn’t shared much of anything about my self-harming behaviors and only my closest friend, my dad and sister knew about what had been going on at the time. Stephanie* could not have been more supportive, not only did she help me edit it, she encouraged me to share it with other members of my family as they could aid in my recovery and have a better understanding of what I am going through. My fear is that people think I share these stories for attention, and while that sounds really petty, it terrifies me. I write because it helps me heal and I share my pieces because it helps others in ways I could have never imagined. But time and time again, the feeling of shame creeps back up and tells me, “Don’t post that, you are just an attention seeker. People are going to think you are crazy and now everyone knows what is ‘wrong’ with you.”
If you or someone you know is going through a difficult time and they are willing to open up, whether it be through writing or direct contact, be supportive. It takes a lot of courage to share your feelings with others and even if you don't understand their struggles you can stay by their side and offer them a listening ear or hug.
