"If they were sexually assaulted years ago, why are they just now telling their story?"

"All of these sexual assault allegations are only happening because it's 'trendy' now."

"If a sexual assault happened years ago, there's no point in coming forward now."

I've heard all of these comments, and ones very similar, here recently. In the midst of many celebrities receiving sexual assault allegations, many fans have stepped forward defending them or belittling the claims made by victims. This, my friends, is exactly why we live in a rape culture and always will.

Saying things like this hints that you don't believe the person who came forward, that you don't think their story is worth noting, or you're giving the narrative to the person who committed the assault instead of the survivor.

You don't know what it's like to be sexually assaulted until it happens to you. You may say that you'd fight the person, kicking and screaming so hard that there's no way they could ever assault you. You may say that you would call the police instantly, pressing charges and locking the person who did this to you up in jail.

But when you're in that situation, things change. You can't kick the person because you fear if you fight back things will get worse. You don't realize what is actually happening is sexual assault. When you do realize, it may be years later when you finally confide in a friend about that one night in college you can't seem to forget for all the wrong reasons. You may choose not to report the case because of fear of what will happen to you, because in our society recently it's been proven time and time again that the reputation of the person who assaulted you is worth keeping clean. You may fear judgment because of what you were wearing at the time or how much alcohol you had to drink. Regardless, there are many reasons why you may choose not to report your sexual assault right away and every single reason is very valid and should be respected.

While it would be ideal that we lived in a world where sexual assault didn't happen, we should be thankful that there has been an increasing amount of survivors who have stepped forward to share their stories. As seen with the "Me Too" movement, the strength of one survivor to come forward can provide strength in many. I hope that with the increasing amount of survivors who are sharing their stories, individuals who are unfortunately sexually assaulted will not fear coming forward. They will not be afraid of being judged by others. They will not be afraid of retaliation from the person who assaulted them. They will not fear anything because they are not the one who should be full of fear.

It is important for everyone to remember that every sexual assault survivor owns their story, and can do with it whatever they wish. If they choose to report instantly, that is fine. If they choose to press charges, that is fine. If they choose to never speak of this instance again, that is fine, too. We should not be judging others for a situation we have not lived in. Even if you have been sexually assaulted yourself, you should remember that every situation is different and let the survivor own their own narrative.

It will take years to decrease the rape culture we have built in our society, but it is my hope that with activism from individuals like myself, we can speed up this process. Living through a sexual assault is difficult enough. The storm should be over after that horrible incident, not just beginning.