It was a normal Monday. I got up, I went to practice, I ate breakfast and got ready for the day. I was stopped at a red light in my car. The man in the car next to me put his car in reverse so that our windows were even. As soon as the car began to move in reverse I knew something was wrong. He began yelling obscene, sexual, and demeaning comments at me. Calling me names and telling me to do things that I absolutely did not want to do. As he was vilifying me, all I could think was, "turn green, turn green, please turn green," and then it did. The light turned green and I drove away. If I was going to say that my day continued on as a normal Monday, I would be lying. I was more aware of my surroundings than usual. I was constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure no one was following me; I kept looking in my rearview mirror to make sure that no one was following me home; I walked to my car with keys in my hand prepared to defend myself.

The more I thought about what had happened, the angrier I became at myself. Someone had taken the time out of their day to terrify me, to personally target me for no reason, and I did nothing about it. I thought I should have gotten his license plate number, I should have called the cops, I should have said something back to him, I should have stood up for myself. I then realized that I was blaming myself. This wasn't my fault. I didn't cut him off before this; I didn't say or do anything to give him any reason to approach me; I wasn't driving in the nude, and yet he did approach me, and I did nothing. Why was I blaming myself? Because that is what society has taught us. Society has taught us that it is our fault. You hear it every day: "Well did you see what she was wearing?", "You didn't hear what she said to him," or "She was drunk." None of those statements justify sexual assault. And yet society teaches us not to show too much skin, to walk to our cars with our keys at the ready, to always use the buddy system, to not think about going out by ourselves at night, to not leave our drinks unattended, to start conversations with strangers in uncomfortable situations so it will be easier to identify them in a line-up if they attack us. Society isn't teaching us how to stand up for ourselves. Society is teaching us how to be the victim and I am not OK with that.

I was not sexually assaulted, but one in two women have experienced sexual violence in their life. One in two women. If that statistic doesn't send chills down your spine then maybe this will: around twenty-four people are victims of sexual assault every minute, which adds up to about twelve million men and women every year. Sexual assault can be any form of the following: rape, oral sex, molestation, harassment, flashing, unwanted sexual touching, or force. So, technically, I was sexually assaulted because I was harassed. Harassment is defined as aggressive pressure or intimidation. However, I do not consider what happened to me to be sexual assault. I have friends who have been sexually assaulted, and for me to compare what happened to them to what happened to me seems asinine.

I wish that tomorrow we could wake up and decide that enough is enough. I wish that everyone could realize that any form of sexual assault is not OK. I wish that everyone could understand that there is no excuse for sexual assault. I wish that everyone could understand that the word no means no. I wish that everyone could understand that saying nothing doesn't mean yes. I wish that everyone could understand that the only word that means yes is yes. But that will never happen. We will never live in a world where everyone will realize, understand, and believe these things. We will most likely never live in a world that will be free of sexual assault, and that is a terrifying thought.

But we can live in a world where more and more people are aware and understand the frequent nature of these crimes, because, yes, sexual assault is a crime. To learn more about domestic violence and sexual assault, you can visit NoMore. You can also take the pledge to learn more, to support survivors, to speak up, and to even donate. "Together we can end domestic violence and sexual assault."