Grindr. If you’re a gay man, you’ve heard of this app. You probably even have your own profile. There are other apps like it: Jack’d, Scruff, Adam for Adam. Whatever your preferred app is, they’re all social media platforms where gay men can meet other gay men, whether it is for a hook up or a date is completely up to the user. While these apps were made to unite the gay community and make them more accessible to each other, it’s created a division. A certain subculture has risen within these apps, they are sometimes called “Bromos” but usually they just put “Masc4Masc” in their bios. When they put this in the biographies, they are telling people on the app that they are a masculine gay man looking for a masculine gay man to either hook up with or go on a date with. Sometimes they’ll put “no fats no fems” which basically means that if you do not have washboard abs and if you’re “feminine” they do not have any interest in you.
So, what exactly does being a “masculine gay man” mean? As it turns out, being a “masculine gay man” means being a stereotypical heterosexual man. Going to the gym all the time, watching sports, all of the typical things straight men do besides gawking at women. So why do some gay men strive to be “masculine” while they are a part of a culture that has been blurring gender lines and breaking gender barriers for years? One word: Homophobia. The very word the gay community fights against is the very word that sends Masc4Masc gays cowering in the comfort of their stereotypes and gender roles. Essentially, Masc4Masc gays do not want to be persecuted against for being gay and the way they escape discrimination is elevating the concept of masculinity and strive to embody it. Masc4Masc gays think that if they can essentially “blend in” with straight men then they won’t be discriminated or harassed by them. This would be completely fine if they were doing this for themselves, but here’s why the Masc4Masc culture is poisonous:
As I stated previously, they openly say that they are not attracted to feminine gay men, which is a problem because it attacks an entire community and deems them unworthy. There’s a difference between having a “type” and discriminating, which is a line that Masc4Masc gays do not believe they’re crossing. Also, Masc4Masc culture is sexist. Shunning and scolding femininity is saying that being feminine makes you inferior to masculine figures which is essentially sexism in its purest form. Some people who support Masc4Masc culture say that feminine gays are the reason why homophobia exists and that adhering to the stereotypes of being gay makes them attention seeking.
It’s important to shed light on this issue because it shows how a marginalized group can marginalize others. Just because someone is oppressed does not mean they are unable to discriminate against others. Now, I’m not telling Masc4Masc gays to go and put on some press on nails and strut the streets in cut off jeans and a crop top (that’s my thing, don’t steal my thunder). All I’m trying to say is: love and respect each other and don’t judge someone because of how they look or act. The only way that we as a community can thrive is if we stand together. We cannot say that we wish to achieve the same goal of acceptance while trying to knock each other down on the way up.
