This weekend one of my friends and I were in an Uber when our driver asked us both what we were majoring in. Both of us answered that we were going to double major in Women’s and Gender Studies and something else. The first words that came out of our driver’s mouth in response were, “So does that mean y’all hate men?” And he said it with a completely straight face. He saw absolutely nothing wrong with his question. He later asked us, “What we could even do with that major?” and if we were going to learn how to perform sex changes.
Now I’m not sure if these disrespectful comments came from ignorance on how to politely interact with stranger or just blatant sexism. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have asked us questions about what this particular major was and what our future plans were. But the assumptions he made about my friend and me were borderline disgusting. Why couldn’t he have just asked us what kinds of classes we would take for this major or what we wanted to do after college? There were so many different ways he could have sought information about the WGS major without offending everyone else in the car.
The more I think about this interaction I realize it’s more of a respect and kindness issue than a sexism issue (even though I fully recognize there is an issue with sexism here). I guarantee you this man would have been horrified if someone had spoken to his daughter, wife or mother like he did to us. I felt personally attacked and questioned. I felt like because I am majoring in something that isn’t as much of a mainstream major that my schooling was just a joke to him. No Uber driver has any right to make any comments to their passengers that make them feel so insulted.
There’s nothing that I want to do with the rest of my life rather than deliver babies and work in women’s health. Which is why I chose to double major in WGS and Psychology while being on the pre-nursing track. I am so excited about the path I have created for myself, and in less than 10 minutes one man felt like it was his place to belittle everything I want to build my future on.
I would also like to point out that there is no part of a Women’s and Gender studies major that makes us hate men or think women are better than men. It simply means that we want to understand more about how society influences gender norms and then how that affects the way women choose to behave in the society they live in. While I’m on the subject, I’m also going to throw out there that there is no part of true feminism that hates men or believes women are above men. Feminism = equality.
Today, the same friend and I were in a different Uber on the way to dinner. We told our driver today about our mad experience. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t know what a WGS major entailed either. But instead of making an assumption on what this major said about our world views, she simply asked. She asked us what we would study in this major and what our future goals were.
She had also been a Hooters waitress for 12 years. She told us that a lot of people thought that was a sexist job. That got me to thinking. I don’t think choosing to work at Hooters is a sexist job. A woman should have the right to work at any whatever business she feels comfortable at and enjoys. What makes Hooters a sexist job is the way people treat the women who work there. These women being treated like sex objects, being disrespected or called names for their choice of jobs is ridiculous.
Long story short, sexism and disrespect are a real issue in today’s society. Even among strangers.
