You remember like it was just yesterday.

One or both of your parents sat you down and gave you the business; the birds and the bees talk. They probably told you about how babies are made. They probably talked about the strange changes your body is starting to go through. They probably talked about the different foreign-sounding anatomical parts you couldn't even begin to wrap your mind around because the talk was so painfully awkward and uncomfortable. Or maybe, your parents didn't talk to you at all and you were left to figure out the secret of life through your ill-humored friends and the Internet. No matter what your circumstances were, there's so much that nobody could've told you at such a young and ignorant age that would prepare you for what sex is really like and all the social implications that come with it. Now you are much older, mature, and knowledgeable about topics such as relationships, love, and sex. Perhaps you should sit down, it's time we had a talk.

First thing's first. This talk is going to be very open and honest. Sex is normal. Sex is human. Sex is the very reason that you and I and everyone we know is alive today. So it's time we stop treating it like such an uncomfortable topic when trying to have a serious discussion. Your parents have had sex. Your grandparents have had sex. Your friends, your neighbors, your tax lady, your mailman- mostly everyone you know has had sex. And if you so choose, as a responsible consenting adult, you will have sex too. This isn't taboo; it is just a fact of life. No matter what you want to call it, whether you're engaging in the act of coitus or making the beast with two backs, sex is here to stay. So stop tensing up whenever someone says the 's-word', you might find that there is a lot of thoughtful conversation to be had when we can openly and honestly talk about this very normal facet of life we all share.

Now with that out of the way, we can talk about something that needs to be discussed in depth. Let's talk safe sex. Your body is yours, is yours alone, and the only one you will ever get. So please, for the love of all that is good, please take care of your body. You'd be amazed at the number of adults who think they're ready for sex, but are too ashamed to do things like talk to their doctor about birth control, too ashamed to buy condoms, or too ashamed to get clinical STD tests performed. This goes right back to our previous topic about being open and honest about how normal sex is.

If you make the conscious decision to become sexually active, you must also make the conscious decision to do so safely by keeping yourself protected and, when you see fit, having regular clinical STD tests done. If you feel embarrassed buying condoms or talking to your doctor about birth control, imagine how embarrassed you will be when you find out that you or your partner has accidentally gotten pregnant. There is no do-over in that scenario. Oops. If you're too embarrassed to seek out clinical tests for diseases, imagine how embarrassed you'll be when you or your partner start showing symptoms of a sexually transmitted disease. Or even imagine the trip to the doctors after finding out. Oops. The bottom line is, if taking measures to ensure safe sex makes you uncomfortable, then you don't have any business having sex. Besides, it's not like that cashier at the pharmacy or your doctor is going to judge you for seeking protection; they're probably delighted you're taking safety measures. Between you and me, they probably have had sex too.

Which brings us to our next imperative topic: consensual sex. Sex is not a negotiation. Sex is not an act that requires convincing. Sex is mutual and sex is respectful of both parties' wishes, or else it isn't sex; it's assault. So, with that being said, I certainly hope you are capable of recognizing what is and what isn't consensual sex because it could mean serious consequences if you don't. No matter whether you are a man or a woman, you should never feel obligated to have sex with someone. That is your decision to make. It doesn't matter if they took you out, or if they bought you things, or if you even told them previously that you would have sex. The decision to give consent is yours and yours alone. Don't ever be afraid of being up front with your partner or anyone who is pursuing you sexually; make your voice heard and let them know where you stand. Again, this is your only body. That means you have control over whether or not you consent to sex. Besides, there's nothing sexier than consensual sex. I mean come on, it's really attractive knowing that the person you want wants you just as badly. There's no second guessing or regrets involved; just you and your partner choosing to enjoy each other's time, presence, and intimacy.

There are numerous aspects that compose a healthy sexual relationship, but perhaps the most important one of them all is communication. Communication is key to expressing to each other your needs, your concerns, and your desires when it comes to sex. Communication is important for maintaining a level of understanding between your partner and yourself. It can be the single difference maker between "I'm not comfortable doing this" and a mutual "I really want to do this". So speak up and make your voice heard to your partner, I guarantee they'll be more than understanding or else they themselves probably wouldn't be comfortable engaging in an intimate act with you.

Another important matter we need to discuss is the totally ridiculous social implications and standards we hold regarding sex. Perhaps the most imperative standard that we ought to address is: why is it so prideful for a man to sleep with lots of women, but shameful for a woman to sleep with lots of men? Why do people care so much about how many people you've had sex with and why is it only shameful if you're a woman? If I had a dollar for every time a male acquaintance of mine used the 'analogy' that goes, " A key that can unlock many locks is a master key while a lock that can be opened by any key is a crappy lock," I could probably start making payments on my accumulating student debt. This dimwitted metaphor is substance-less and is only a poor excuse that likens human genitals to inanimate objects in an attempt to justify slut-shaming and masculinity complexes.

Let's re-enter reality and look at sexual activity for what it truly is: we are all human, we all have sexual needs, and so long as we are doing so consensually and responsibly, the frequency of sex and number of partners we have is irrelevant. These numbers do not define, degrade, or devalue us, whether we are a man or a woman. Of course I'm not saying to go out and have sex with everyone who will have you, the selectivity you display when pursuing sexual partners is completely at your own discretion. That's the beauty of this being your body and having your own say in what you do with it. So I must reiterate one more time: So long as you are being healthy, responsible, and consensual, your sexual tendencies do not define, degrade, or devalue you. Are we clear? There is no shame in having sex. There is no shame in choosing not to have sex. There is no shame in choosing to have sex with someone of the same sex as yourself. We collectively should have the decency to respect other people's conscious decisions. At the same time, we should be genuine enough to talk with each other openly and honestly to make sure our friends and loved ones are healthy and safe in their sex lives as well.

Don't ever forget, this is your one and only body. Be excellent to yourself as you would be to other people. This is your one and only voice. Make yourself heard and communicate effectively.

I'm glad we could have this talk.