Sex is not love.

Sex is not, and should never be, a way for someone to prove that they care for you.

Just because someone can give you an orgasm (which is very biologically determined) when others have failed to do so does not mean they are good for you.

Just because he tells you there isn’t anyone else doesn’t actually mean there is no one else who he will lay with at night. Just because he calls you pretty does not mean there isn’t someone else who he calls beautiful. Just because he talks to you doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else who he is in constant contact with throughout the day. Just because there's you doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else.

You may be one of few or one of many. Either way, if you are not his one and only, do not waste your time. For I have wasted enough time, in those regards, for both of us.

You pushed me away when you wanted and then lured me in again when it was convenient to you. But I can't place all the blame on you because I let it happen. I let you draw me in. With every smile and the sureness of your hands as they cupped the sides of my face, any restraint I had evaporated. I let myself be used and tossed aside like three-day-old avocados. I was just a little too mushy and damaged, I suppose.

And now there’s someone else. And there’s still me.

This girl that you’re seeing now, I wonder if she knows you still see me. I wonder if she can ever smell me on your neck when she goes to hug you. I wonder if she takes pictures of your matching shoes, envisioning a future for you two together, while you wait until she isn't looking to text me to make sure I'm still coming over tonight.

Does she know?

Does she know you have been with me, all the while still pursuing her?

And you know what actually kills me as I type this?

I once was her.

I was the girl who thought I could change you. I thought I would be the one, special girl who would infect your heart and penetrate your soul so deeply that no other girl would compare. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry as I realize she is who I was a year ago and that her fate will surely be the same.

You may be incapable of love; you may just be incapable of loving me.

Either way, I deserve better than a once a week, biologically driven and emotionally disconnected release. I deserve someone who looks at me and sees me — my strengths, weakness, good days and bad days, and still loves me. I deserve someone who could never imagine hurting me the way you have.

Someone who, as Juno's father so eloquently put, "still thinks the sun shines out of my ass."

So,

Do I gather my courage and stop seeing you?

Do we part ways forever without any closure?

Can I move on without any explanation or reason?

All of these answers are the same.

Yes.