We all know that one of the main goals of life for most people is to settle down, get married, and have a family. I mean, you fall in love with someone you can't ever see yourself without and the next thing you know, you see yourself dreaming about your fairytale wedding and the happy marriage that comes after, just knowing it's going to last forever.
In fact, you're on a pink cloud together unable to keep your hands off one another. Then all the veteran couples look at you and remember how it used to be for them. Because in all actuality, once you get married things will change; and your sex life is one of them.
Before marriage, sex is all the time; I mean if you're not the type that chooses to wait until marriage. Either way, no matter when you decide to start, the beginning is the best. After some time passes, mostly after the I do's, things start to slow down. No, this is not a myth and you can try, but it is pretty much inevitable.
We start to get comfortable, developing routines, and once the kids come your priorities change. In fact, they can take up much of your headspace to the point that by the time you have nothing left to do you're too exhausted to try and enjoy one another. Unfortunately, it's mostly women who have these feelings.
It's not that men don't develop such feeling and routines, it's just that with women having the mindset of a busy bee, and it can be difficult for us to think of anything else. We work, go to school, take care of the kids and the house, cook, and become a therapist and problem solver to everyone else.
Women put on many hats that involve taking care of everyone else before herself. However, even with busy husbands, this is where the difference in stress relief comes in.
Husbands prefer sex to any other stress reliever out there. It releases endorphins, tension, and frankly, sperm buildup. Many wives, however, can relieve stress just by sitting in a quiet room with a glass of wine and be perfectly happy; because no one is demanding anything for them. And the less pleasing sex is for a wife, the more she prefers to be left alone.
This is where this difference in men and women tends to cause tension in marriage. Men and women can have different needs and wants at different times. The trick is getting the same needs to coincide at the same time. It's difficult for men because of their appendage that wants what it wants, when it wants it. A woman's brain is this way: if she is aroused and you wait too long, her attention goes elsewhere. For a man, you can't just turn it off, and for a woman, you can't just turn it on.
Unless the two can find a healthy common ground sexual tension can boil over into other things and drive the marriage apart. On the other hand, having sex regularly keeps this from being a distracting issue so it's no longer an excuse for other issues. It also makes other problems really nonexistent, leaving you with a more peaceful home life.
This is why no matter how much you love a person and no matter how strong your connection is, sex can always make or break what you have. And if all you had was sex, to begin with, there's nothing else to hold onto when things begin to change.
