1. All of us aren’t quiet.
Sure, many introverts are, but my friends and family know firsthand that I am not always the quietest or most reserved person. Being introverted or extroverted has nothing to do with your personal volume. It’s about how you obtain your mental and emotional energy. While your body needs to be taken care of by getting rest and eating nutritious foods, your mind needs to be taken care of by recharging, whether that's by having alone time or spending time with people. Introverts, like myself can be incredibly loud and passionate when we’re out and about, but at the end of a long day we recharge by going off on our own.
2. We're not loners.
Antisocial, recluse, hermit, loner, and the list goes on… Introverts are none of these things. We don’t hate people or shy away from them. In fact, most of us LOVE people! Because we’re often very self-reflective and observant in nature, we also tend understand people very well. Being around people, however, just isn’t how we get our energy. Parties and social gatherings are great, and we will absolutely attend if we are feeling up to it, but do not expect for us to be the ones staying till 4 AM or participating in any crazy, repetitive ice-breakers or drinking games. Odds are, we will probably leave earlier than others simply because we are drained (nothing personal). Which leads me to my next point…
3. Don't take our "alone time" personally.
Sometimes I feel badly if I have to turn down plans with people, but I simply cannot have social commitments every single day/night. I think it’s safe to say that most introverts are the same way. We have to have alone time or we reach a point where we can’t function. If we’re not given time to recharge then we get to where we have nothing left to give back to other people. In those moments we both feel horrible on the inside, and look pathetic on the outside. If we cannot meet up with you or have to reschedule plans, please do not take it personally. We would just rather find a time in which we can fully and honestly contribute and participate in that time with you.
4. There are a select few that don't count as people.
By this I mean that every introvert has a few people in their life that they can spend endless amounts time with and not become exhausted. For me, it’s my very best friend and my big. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, I could hang out with either of these two people forever and I wouldn’t get tired of them. To us introverts, these people are sacred because we do in fact find ourselves in moments where we don’t want to be alone.
5. There are conditions to our "alone time".
It is no light thing when I say that we introverts need time to ourselves to recharge our mental and emotional batteries. We seek personal solace in seclusion. That time is precious to us, and means as much to us as a big group outing does to an extravert. It's supposed to a time of comfort and relief. That being said, if we’ve spent the whole night by ourselves studying or working, you should not consider us to be “recharged”. Yes, we may have been alone, but those activities are not going to help us decompress. We need alone time that allows us to relax and take care of ourselves.
6. Never underestimate what's going on inside our heads.
Just don’t. We’ve had enough quiet time and spent enough of our lives by ourselves so that our inner worlds contain universes. We are daydreamers and intellectuals. We know ourselves forwards and backwards, and we know our opinions on most everything. We’ve probably already developed our thoughts on you and just haven’t shared them yet because we’re waiting for the right time to reach out. Which leads me to my last point…
7. One-on-one is the way to go.
Please do not put us through the torture of icebreakers and group activities that put us on the spot. We hate that. Trust me. If you want to get to know us, then ask to get coffee with us or to take a walk together or something of that nature. We are more comfortable in one-on-one settings and are more likely to be ourselves if it’s just the two of us or a small group. We want to like you and we want you to like us, and this is the best way to guarantee that you meet the most whole, genuine version of us that there is.
