I've come to a conclusion- boys are the same no matter what. Recently, I had a friend go through a rough break-up the second semester of the school year. Everyday she came to me, we'd talk about it, and I knew the best way for her to get through it was just to talk- so I let her. She cried when we went out, and sometimes she just wanted to lay in bed- and I let her do that as well. Almost a semester later I asked her to do something for me- explain why this boy killed her so much. I wanted to know, but more importantly I wanted to know how to fix this for other girls, so they weren't killed during rough breakups either. So she did, and this is her explanation and story behind settling for her now ex-boyfriend- and how it ended up hurting her more than anything.

"It's funny, I never understood the concept of a boy completely destroying you until I got into a relationship. I always made fun of my friends who would cry about their ex's every time we went out and I didn't understand how you could be thinking about what you did wrong so often- it happened, just move on. And then I got into a relationship. It's the most typical story- we met and just started hanging out a lot. I saw him alot when I went out at night, and I knew a lot of his friends so it was easy to hangout with him. We got along, texted all day, and slept over at night. Everything was fine, and honestly I was not expecting a relationship from him. It was not because he was "too hot" or a "f**k boy," I just wanted to have fun. To be honest, and I'm NOT being cocky here, I was way out of his league, and everyone told me "___ you're too hot for him" but I liked him. My entire life I went for people who were not on my level, but I enjoyed his presence and he made me smile."

"As the semester went on, the feelings got a lot stronger and I wanted something more serious. He eventually asked me out and we dated for a few months. Our relationship was never fireworks, it was never instagram posts about how we felt about each other or flowers and dinners every weekend. And I would be wrong to say even if I made fun of my friends who had all that; I was jealous because I was treated as more of a friend and bootycall than a girlfriend, but I let it happen. We just existed in each others lives, which was fine because neither of us were complaining. But then something snapped and as much as I don't want to admit it, it needed to happen. He just "wasn't happy anymore" and I think those three words are now the bane of my existence. Someone who I tried to make so happy, just simply wasn't. And maybe it was a disconnect, or maybe it was a misunderstanding but it happened and I took it a lot harder than he did, on every front. He seemed to be fine; he just broke off a relationship of more than half a year, and I was broken. I was broken on every aspect because I gave myself to someone I settled for."

"I settled for this boy. He made me happy 3/7 days of the week and I thought that was enough. I settled for someone who was not only below me on a "looks" scale, but below me on every other aspect as well. He was a graduating senior and still didn't know how to handle his problems: he could only talk when drunk, and didn't know how to tell people 'no.' All of those things are things I would never want to be characteristics from someone I was dating- but I settled. I don't know what to chalk it up to- if it was personal issues, or an attachment issue, or maybe just the need to have someone, but I attached myself to someone who I should of never given more than one night. I have to tell myself continually not to attach yourself to a mistake because you made a lot of time making it, and that's exactly what I did. I believe this is worse than a mutual relationship in which you were both overly invested- because at least you can leave that relationship knowing you both gave it your all, you loved, you cared and things just didn't work out. In my case, I settled for a boy who didn't love, didn't care, just simply was going through the motions and I still ended up getting hurt. This is still coming back to haunt me but I'm getting better at dealing with it."

That is half of the reason I decided to tell my story to Ally, and try to explain it to her. It took me awhile to even realize I settled, to even realize that I in fact, gave myself to someone who didn't care, and its going to take me awhile to ever get to the point of loving someone again. But I think it's important to share this story, because I want to tell people in my same case that it's ok, because when you love someone who doesn't love you it tells you more about them than you. You were willing to try and to care and to love, and they weren't even willing to get off their couch. So keep loving and try not to let it affect you, you and I both, are going to be ok"

If you got anything from this story it's that it happens to the best of us, so from one bad bitch to another- keep truckin'.