When you were 5-years-old what would you give up for an extra 10 minutes of TV time? A new toy? Dessert? Brushing your teeth,we thought we could get away with that one, but it never worked!
Though we did not understand it at the time our parents had a reason behind all those no’s we heard. No to staying out late. No to having a sleepover on a school night. No to an extra cookie. We got mad at them and sometimes even hated them for their no’s.
Fast-forward 15 years. Your parents aren’t telling you no anymore. Well, at least, they shouldn’t be! Now that we are 18 years or older it’s our own decisions on how to live our lives. We are in charge of our no's and yes'. We decide what and when to eat, when to go to bed, who we date, who our friends are, whether or not we drink and how much.
When you reach “adulthood” it is time to take charge of your life. Well, maybe not your life but, at least, your decisions. Sometimes it makes us feel like we are kids again, invincible, immortal. Everything is great and simple and nothing can go wrong, until it does. Maybe having our parents around to tell us no isn’t such a bad idea.
Remember all those times you thought your parents hated you because they said no? Well, what would have happened if every time you asked your mom for a piece of chocolate cake she just gave in and gave you a piece? You probably would be pretty unhealthy right about now. And what happened when you wanted to go out with the local “bad boy” but your parents said no? Age and experience do seem to have its advantages. Though we couldn’t see it then we are starting to understand now.
No one is going to be there to tell us no anymore. We have to be able to say no for ourselves. This is true for all aspects of our lives: school, relationships and drinking.
Being in a relationship in your 20’s is a lot like being 5-years-old again. You’re blind to the obvious things around you. You only see the world as you want to see it. When you’re young and in love everything is perfect right? N0! You only think it’s perfect. You see what you want to see. You overlook what you don’t want to see. You don’t see what others, including your parents, see. We don’t always see what’s good for us whereas our parents do. That’s why they said no so much! To keep us safe, healthy, and sometimes even alive! In the long run, what they cared about was our well-being. But your parents can’t really tell you no anymore, so who will? We have to learn how to tell ourselves NO.
Being in a relationship has a lot to do with being realistic and with that is the ability to say no. No could also mean walk away. Why would any 5-year-old give back a yummy piece of cake? It’s hard, I know. But if the chocolate cake, or in the 20-year-olds instance, the relationship is not bettering you then why aren’t you giving it back? Why not say no? We deserve the best life has to offer and we need to learn not to settle.
It truly is one of the hardest things to do but if you are in a situation that does not better you as a person, or even hurts you, you have to take care of yourself and say NO.
When you were five your parents would do literally anything to protect you. As maturing young women, we need to learn how to protect ourselves and say no when appropriate.
