In the generation of "goals" and social media, it is hard to get lost in all of the "unrealistic" expectations we are known to set for a relationship. Anyone who is on any kind of social media platform can agree that it is so easy to get consumed by all of these posts. Nowadays anything can be considered "goals". But what I do not understand is why we want to identify simple romantic gestures as our main "goal" in our relationship. Sure, a bouquet of flowers after a long day would be lovely to come home to, but that shouldn't be what you strive for in your relationship.
Your "relationship goals" should be more than just flowers or a sweet text message. The goal of your relationship should be to lift each other higher and help each other grow both individually and together. It is okay to expect more of each other than just romantic gestures, as long as what you are expecting of each other is not material objects. You can set the bar higher for your relationship without feeling guilty that you are asking for too much or being "unrealistic". There is a huge difference between being genuinely happy with someone and settling with someone because of what you have seen others settle for. If your idea of a great healthy relationship is supplying each other with material objects constantly or having a hundred day snapchat streak then you may just be settling because of what the internet is telling you is healthy.
Requesting more out of your significant other is okay. An unhealthy relationship is so easily identified, because it is the relationship that tries so desperately to make everyone else see how great they are. Instead of looking for a "Wifey" or a "Hubby", try to look past the stereotypical qualities we tend to place on a person when searching for a significant other. It is okay to really wait to find the right person to dedicate yourself to, because you are worth that. Requesting trust, honesty, faithfulness, kindness, dedication, and compassion out of your partner should not be a bonus. It should be required. You are allowed as a significant other to want those qualities from your partner without having to beg them or feel like you are being annoying. Since when has faithfulness become optional? Why is it not a deciding quality? Your partner being faithful should not be a quality that needs to be rewarded.
The best couples are the ones who hold each other accountable. You should not have to "reward" your partner for being faithful. It is expected. Being faithful is not an "unrealistic" expectation for a relationship. Neither is kindness or thoughtfulness. If your partner is making you feel like you requesting these qualities from them is too hard then you are allowed to leave. You are not being “high maintenance” if you do so. Your healthy relationship starts with you and how much you expect out of your partner. After all, why be with someone who you have such low expectations for?
