How many times have you heard this phrase:
"That/this is so gay!"
Given that we were not brought up in the 1800's, I can say with confidence that when you heard this phrase, it was not used to describe something that is, "happy, jolly, or joyful." Chances are, when you have heard someone use this phrase, they used it with a negative connotation, to express a negative sentiment toward someone or something.
If you would like to express a negative sentiment toward someone or something, why not just use a word that is actually meant to describe something of that nature: dislikable, detestable, undesirable, awful, insane, or one of the other many words in the dictionary.
Of the many words in the dictionary, why is it so common to use a word describing one's sexual orientation as an insult? Every time the word "gay" is used as an insult, it is reinforcing the social oppression that exists for individuals who identify as LGBTQ+.
Unfortunately, many barriers still exist for individuals who identify as LGBTQ+. We live in a frightening world where more than half of the 2016 presidential candidates believe that marriage should be between a male and a female, and are backed by an overwhelming amount of supporters. Many LGBTQ+ individuals experience harassment or face micro aggressions on a daily basis due to their sexual orientation and/or gender identification.
Therefore, using the word "gay" as an insult is problematic on many levels. Each time you say this, you are using one's identity to express a negative sentiment toward someone or something, and whether you realize it or not, are outwardly expressing a negative sentiment toward the LGBTQ+ community. When you use the word "gay" as an insult, you are showing a lack of respect to individuals who identify as gay, as well individuals who have gay friends or family members. It is a lack of respect because it shows that you are too lazy to search for another word in your vocabulary to express a negative sentiment, and could care less whether or not you are contributing to the social oppression of LGBTQ+ individuals.
The moral of the story: Stop using the word gay as an insult. Find another word. http://www.thesaurus.com is a helpful place to start if you are unsure.
If you are reading this and you don't use the word gay as an insult, that is great. However, when you hear friends, family members, classmates, the guy behind you in the lunch line, or someone at a party use "gay" as an insult, do you correct them? Well, if you don't, you are just as guilty as they are. As an ally to the LGBTQ+ community, it is your job to take a stand. Many people do not even realize the problematic nature behind the use of the word "gay", and it is up to you to educate them.
Scared to confront someone? Here are some nice ways to correct them if you hear them say it:
"What do you mean when you say, "gay?" (They will most likely say, "Like, dumb, or something", to which you say, "Then why didn't you just say that instead!")
"Please don't use that word, I have someone very close to me who identifies as gay, and it offends me when you say that!"
"Please use a different word, it is offensive to to use someone's identity as an insult!"
If you have never confronted someone before, it might be a little uncomfortable at first. However, it is an important thing to do as an LGBTQ+ ally, and it will get easier each time!
Someone once said, "Language shapes our thoughts, ideas, and attitudes." The language we use in our daily life is integral in the ideologies that shape our own beliefs, as well as the beliefs of society as a whole. So please, use the power of language to end the oppression and discrimination of LGBTQ+ individuals. Together, we can make a change.