Florida has been known for it's bizzarre and crazy citizens, whose even more bizarre and crazy actions make news headlines frequently. The month of September did not disappoint. Here is a round up of Florida's most upstanding citizens this month.
A Florida man disemboweled his girlfriend during sex.
Yes, I said disemboweled. If you aren't sure what that entails think "entrails". This apparently happened because the woman said her ex's name during sex. So naturally, the man had to brutally murder her.
***Warning: I suggest you do not google this one.
A Florida woman was arrested for riding a sea turtle.
If you weren't aware, many species of sea turtles are endangered and all sea turtles most definitely don’t want to be giving this woman a ride anywhere.
A Florida man was arrested for stealing 4 million pounds of citrus
I'm not sure who is more at fault here, the man or the companies who didn’t realized 4 million pounds of their fruit were missing.
A Florida man assaulted his girlfriend "over and about Doritos"
He got angry about a bag of chips and physically threw his girlfriend out of their apartment. Overreaction? Maybe just a little.
A Florida man was arrested for exposing himself at Burger King
When asked what he was doing, he calmly responded, "I'm playing with my penis." Clearly a well adjusted human being.
A Florida man broke into a school to "call his grandma"
Well, if he didn’t get the chance at the school, at least they give you a phone call in prison.
A Florida woman charged with a DUI insists her dog should be arrested instead of her.
So your dog got you drunk and forced you to drive your car and crash it into an apartment complex? A truly plausible explanation.
If this is all the excitement September brought, I can't wait for October.
