Having divorced parents isn't a luxury.
"You're so lucky, you get double everything."
If you grew up with divorced parents you know what I'm talking about. Everyone whose parents are still together thinks it's so cool because you have two of everything, when it's not "cool" it's hard. It's hard having to pack your bags every week or two weeks and leave one parent for another. It's hard to fit all that's happened in that little time that's spent together. There's nothing fun about feeling like you have to pick sides as you get older.
When your friends talk about it being awesome that you get two Christmas, birthday parties, more presents and you think to yourself about how lucky they are to have parents that are still together. You just wish you could all sit down for a family dinner or go out together without an argument. The truth is if you can have a family night or just having your parents still together and love each other, you're the lucky one.
I know there's parents who are together for their children and I applaud you, you're trying to be civil because you brought a child in this world and want to give them what they deserve. I'm sure it's hard to be civil with someone that you don't want to be around but one day your child will thank you for trying to make life a little bit easier for them. You have the parents who honestly could care less if they saw each other again and talk only when they have to. They go through kids as the messenger and make things so much harder than they need to be.
When you're younger what can you do? Your mom or dad packs your bag and kisses you goodbye. You get older and you start to want to stay a little longer with mom or dad but then you feel bad for "choosing" one or the other. You're a teenager and you want to stay with mom because you're the girl and your brother wants to stay with your dad, and that just leaves a more broken family than you started with.
It's hard for separated parents to be civil and give kids a "normal" life when divorced is the new "normal"
I've learned a lot from having separated parents. I think it makes you appreciate things a little more than usual, you cherish time more. It's not easy and it makes life a little more complicated but don't forget whether your parents are together or aren't together you're still just as loved. Things may not be the same but you'll get use to your new "normal"
