In evangelical Christian circles, it is typical to separate men and women on occasion to address certain issues. Young Christians and even older, more mature Christians are becoming concerned that this separation is feeding a gender stereotype.
Men go to steak dinners and cookouts as they talk about their struggles with lust and porn addictions, encouraging one another to step up and be the leaders that their women need them to be. Their wives are sitting at a spa, getting their nails painted, reminding each other that they are beautifully and wonderfully made.
One of these concerned individuals is Chad Magnuson, a psychology professor at Liberty University.
“You’ve got guys’ ministries dealing with topics like lust and pornography and getting them (Christian men) together to do an outdoor activity,” said Magnuson. “The ladies (are taught) how to deal with your emotional self, coping, self-image, body image. You’re a princess in God’s eyes or whatever.”
Magnuson believes Christians tend to emphasize these differences more than they should.
“I think of a lot of what we do in these settings is misguided,” said Magnuson. “We have ideas about what men need and what women need and they’re based on often unpopular writings of people who aren’t really aware of what the science suggests about men and women and their differences.”
Magnuson thinks that Christians are missing opportunities to minister to men and women in areas that are not stereotypical to their genders.
“What if it’s not porn that’s the issue (with men)?” asks Magnuson. “What if it’s the underlying longing for connection that they’re not even identifying? But that’s what the women are talking about and the men need to be talking about that, but we don’t because that’s not a man thing.”
Professor Benjamin Laird, who teaches a New Testament class at Liberty University, holds a slightly different view.
“I think that if there’s certain issues that men want to talk about, maybe they feel like they can open up and discuss them a bit more freely if they’re not with their wives or other women,” said Laird. “It just might be more conducive to what they want to talk about.”
Laird does not believe that separating men and women naturally causes a sin-shaming culture, but that this separation can be beneficial if done wisely.
“I don’t think the context is the problem,” said Laird. “I think we have to remember that when we are approached by people and they open up to us with their sins, we treat them with the love of Christ and with compassion and grace.”
Laird believes that as long as a congregation of men and women is receiving the whole truth of Scripture on a regular basis, than the separation of men and women can be beneficial.
“You definitely want to talk about things that are relevant to your congregation, things that people are struggling with,” said Laird. “But I don’t want to just focus on that alone repeatedly. I want to give people what Paul calls the whole counsel of God’ and continually go through Scripture and teach all of the major doctrines so the people have a well-rounded view. I think (separation of men and women) has a good place. It just shouldn’t be exclusive.”
Magnuson attributes this separation of men and women on culture more than a biblical foundation.
“If we see a difference between men and women, we assume it is a biological difference when in reality, a lot of them are probably cultural differences,” said Magnuson. “There are particular groups of people who have these gender roles that are expected for men and for women … that a biblical man will pursue and ask the person out on a date and be the protector because the woman is weak and the woman can’t do these things and a woman needs a man to be complete because she’s for some reason less of a human being than a man is.”
Magnuson says that these so-called Christian views about men and women stem more from the way culture has influenced the interpretation Scripture than from Scripture itself. He advises Christians to think critically about these gender differences and decide whether they are biblical differences or just cultural constructs.
Magnuson says that men and women do sometimes tend to have dispositions toward different struggles, but he suggests focusing on not only the differences between men and women but also the differences between individual men and women within those groups.
Evangelical Christians vary in their opinions on this subject, so change may not be expected any time soon. Men will continue to attend their cookouts and women will continue in their weekend getaways. The question remains whether this separation increases a gender gap in the church.
