With Thanksgiving coming up, there’s a lot of talk about what we’re thankful for. This year, I am particularly thankful for the people who have made an incredible impact on my life over the past few months in a way that I never thought possible. Although my first semester in college certainly wasn’t what I expected it to be, I can honestly say that it took the best turn it possibly could have— even though at first, I was less than happy with the situation I found myself in.

Looking back on the past few months, there’s a lot of ups and downs, joy and sadness, successes and failures, a couple steps forward followed by a few steps back. I’ve learned that there is no easy, quick road to becoming your best self. I’ve had incredible realizations, where I realized that I wanted to keep working on improvement more than anything, and I also had times where all I could think about was dropping everything and ending up back at square one. These people have been with me every step of the way: the tears, the laughter, my best and my worst. They’ve pushed me to do what is best for me, but they also knew when to step back and allow me to make my own mistakes.

I could go on and on about everything that they’ve done for me, and I probably will sometime in the near future. For now, though, I simply want to say, “Thank you”. These people know who they are, and each and every one of them is so special and close to my heart. They are also the people who, upon reflection, have helped me grow to the point where I can try to say that this Thanksgiving, whether or not I can fully convince myself of it, I am at least a little thankful for myself.

That probably comes off as either disgustingly selfish or just plain narcissistic. But I didn’t think that I would ever get to the point where that thought would even pass through my mind, let alone the point where I would be trying to convince myself that I’m worthy of that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having any kind of positive feelings towards yourself, and the constant demonization of confidence and self-appreciation as “arrogant” and “selfish” only enforces the all too frequent beliefs people have that they aren’t worthy of anything, let alone happiness and appreciation. I don’t think that I’ve reached a point where I can fully appreciate myself; on the contrary, I feel as though I’m just barely beginning to dip my toes in. This is a long process, but I have already come so far, and so has everyone who is on this journey with me.

I am so grateful for my team and peers, and for the words of wisdom, and every single second that I have spent with them, even those where I thought that I just wanted out. And I am grateful for my past self, for allowing myself to admit that I needed help, for reaching out, and for going back after swearing that I wouldn’t, instead of letting my fear of apparent failure to keep me from that. I’m thankful that after everything, something in the back of my mind keeps telling me to not give up, that one slip up isn’t the end. I can’t quite yet see what those who have impacted me do when I think of and see myself, but now, I have days where I understand that that’s okay. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to look at myself, think about what they’ve said to me, and actually see that. Maybe I’ll finally reach a point where I am comfortable accepting and being grateful for myself, and proud of where I’ve come and who I am. I’m still working on it.

But for now, there is nothing I want more than for everyone who is helping me through my struggles to know that they have changed my life in a way that I never thought would be possible. And I want them, and everyone reading this, to take a moment, and understand that it’s healthy to be thankful for yourself and what you’ve achieved. You have made it up until here, and you can keep going. I wish for everyone to find the confidence and self-acceptance that I see my friends working for and achieving. It’s OK to be proud of yourself.