I struggle a lot with my sense of worth, which is somewhat ironic as I am confident in some aspects of myself; however, I suppose there is a big part of me that feels quite worthless in a specific field of life.

I am confident in my professional pursuits and goals. I am confident in my efforts to be a kind and thoughtful individual. I am confident in my ability to be a good friend and empathize with people. Lastly, I am confident in my ability to foster and maintain genuine and healthy relationships with people I care about. That being said, if you've been reading my articles since the get-go, you know that one, my love life is not my strong suit and two, I've struggled a lot with my body in the past and still today.

Unfortunately, during times of stress and anxiety, those two things like to mingle with each other and tell me they're codependent. What I mean by that is that my brain likes to tell me that perhaps the reason why I've never been in a romantic relationship or have felt desired romantically is that I am physically unattractive. Sometimes my brain goes as far as to tell me I'm repulsive and disgusting. It sounds extreme, but it's true. And it's not fun. It is extraordinarily difficult to sensor those thoughts and convince myself that my worth as a human being is independent of my physical appearance, and my physical appearance does not determine how worthy I am of being loved, romantically or otherwise.

My friend recently said to me, "…you have amazing people in your life who will constantly do nothing but lift you up and love you as you and tell you-you are beautiful inside and out, no matter how many times you need to hear it…" It was simple, but it made me feel better. My friend reminded me to focus on the overwhelming love I do have in my life, despite maybe not having the romantic love I do want to experience.

Love is love, and I am grateful to have as much care and support in my life as I do. I am so thankful to have people who remind me that my value and how people feel about me is not reliant on how I look, and if someone were to base how much they liked me on my physical appearance, they are not a person I would want in my life.

It's ironic because I don't base who I like and don't care for on how physically "beautiful" a person is. It really is true that the shell of a human can be gorgeous, but the inside is just repulsive. It's sort of like one of those chocolates that looks really good, but then when you bite into it the filling is disgusting. The same goes for "ugly produce" – just because it may not look the nicest, it can easily taste the best (and it's cheaper). What I'm trying to say is that there are no set rules to determining a person's worth.

For me, I value people based on who they are in terms of their morals, ethics, beliefs about life, how kind they are, how driven they are, if they influence me and my decisions and opinions positively, and how I see them functioning in society at large. Truly I've met people I think at first are physically attractive, but the more I get to know them, the uglier they become. The inverse has also happened.

So why can't I hold these principles to myself as well?

Why do I reduce my worth to a physical shape and tell myself I am unworthy of love because of how I look?

I don't know. I don't know why I do it. But I do it. And I'm working on it. And I'm working on it by repeating Sarah's Day's (one of my favorite YouTubers) catchphrase "act confident and no one will question you", by reminding myself of why I believe I do have value in this world, by focusing on the metaphysical aspects of myself I like and think are important…and by telling myself that I have no reason to tell myself I am physically unappealing.

It's okay if I feel that way sometimes, but I have to acknowledge the feelings, try to understand why I feel that way, and move on. I have to work to accept my body and realize that I don't want to live in a state of constantly wanting to change.

I am enough right now as is, and enough is a feast.

So now when my friends tell me to shoot my shot – as in, put myself out there more with romance – I am working to fire my personality, my values, my beliefs, my passions; and all of those things, the things that truly make me, should be more than enough to make someone see beyond my shell to the beauty in me as a human being.