Now I've probably written this article, or this specific topic of this article a million times already and that's because this is supposed to be a reminder to me and to others that there shouldn't be the need to question self-worth ever but it's not like we can't ever help ourselves. Our minds just wander when we are sad and that's nothing we can help. It's just how we are wired to think and act.

When life doesn't seem to go our way, the immediate response is to think negative of ourselves and we start to question our worth and how much there is or isn't. And speaking from personal experience, whenever a situation seems to have a bigger impact on my life and gives me stress and anxiety, specifically something related to how much I might mean to someone, my mind definitely wanders and I question my importance in the world.

An example of this that is particular to my life is that I start to wonder how much I might mean to someone and if they think that I am worth the amount of effort they should be putting in for me. It just sucks more when you are putting a sufficient amount of effort into a relationship only to be taken advantage of and tossed aside when someone new comes along. That's when you're left thinking, "Where did I go wrong?", "What did I do wrong?", "Why wasn't I enough?". And because of that one person or one situation you are left questioning how much you actually might mean to someone, or better yet: How much do I mean to the world?

That question brings me into the next part of the conversation. How much do I mean to the world? If I didn't matter much and I chose to commit suicide, would anyone actually care? Would anyone care to wonder where I went? Absolutely not. If people cared they wouldn't have turned me away in the first place. Everyone I talk about to about this situation says that I matter to them and if they had never met me they wouldn't be the person that they are today and to be honest, I think that is a load of crap. No one can have that much of an impact on someone's life, let alone how can it be me?

I literally do nothing. Which is why everyone drops me. But needless to say, everyone matters and when someone finally does something that makes me think that the world cares about me that's when I start to think about my worth and if I'm actually worthy at all. For someone like me to realize that there might actually be a chance that I have an impact on someone's life is crazy to think especially when there is no way in hell that someone so small and who does nothing with her life can be impactful.

But people have proven me wrong and it has me feeling a type of way and questioning everything that I thought to be true. It just sucks when you think you know someone and have a connection with them only to be let down in the end when they choose someone else over you. That's when the doubting happens but then the small things are what changes the thinking because then you start to feel of worth when someone finally speaks out the truth about how they feel about you.

My advice to people like me who are going through the same thing is just to lift your head up high and continue fighting those ugly and nasty thoughts because believe me when you think that you are not worthy enough, that's the exact opposite because you more than worthy.