Since elementary school, we’ve been taught the importance of the phrase, “Treat others the way you would like to be treated.” By the time we’re young adults, we’re more or less aware of what it means to be a good friend. We know that we should always be supportive of our friends: honest, yet positive, appreciative and nonjudgmental and showing unconditional love for and acceptance of them.
However, although so many of us are capable of being good to others, very few of us know what it means to be good to ourselves. It’s time to start teaching the "Golden Rule” a little differently. I propose that we include the line, “Treat yourself the way you would treat another.” The majority of people I know, regardless of their gender or age, lack the self-confidence that they deserve. They have formed the horrible habits of negative self-talk and constant self-criticism.
Teachers need to start teaching children at a young age that their relationship with themselves is the most important relationship they will ever have in their lives. It’s just as important to support yourself, to be honest with yourself in the most positive manner possible, to be appreciative of yourself, to not judge yourself and to show unconditional love for and acceptance of yourself as it is to do so for a friend.
For example, if a friend was to show you the outfit they were planning on wearing out that night and you happened to find the cut unflattering on them, would you say to them “Ew, you look so fat in that… nobody wants to see that much of your skin”? Of course you wouldn’t. As a good friend, you would probably be honest with them and say that you’re not a fan of that particular outfit, but you know of something even better that they’d look great in. If there’s something you would never be okay with saying to your best friend, you should never be okay with saying it to yourself either.
Self-Love is fundamental to a happy life full of positive relationships. Before you can truly love someone else it’s incredibly important that you know how to love yourself. If you’ve developed habits such as insulting your physical attributes, doubting your capabilities, telling yourself you’re “not good enough” or dreading to spend time alone with yourself, it’s time that you start teaching yourself self-love.
Some ways that you can do this are by writing down a few things you like about yourself every time a negative self-thought pops into your head, finding an activity that you enjoy doing and pursing it until you become great at it and spending more time alone and appreciating the feeling of being able to exist around solely yourself without any risk of outward judgment. Remember, there is nobody in the world that is exactly as you are. You are a special being and you will always be able to find people that are drawn to your distinctive qualities. What’s important is that you appreciate yourself for all of the ways you are uniquely you. That’s the new and improved Golden Rule.
