The simple cliché of "life is a roller coaster" can describe everyone's relationship with themselves. Not everyone is perfect; not everyone is extremely confident and outgoing. Something I advise you to strive for, though, is to not let yourself become your own obstacle to what you want.
We sometimes do this because we believe we are not worthy, or rather not capable of handling whatever opportunity life has thrown at us -- whether that is a chance to go somewhere you've never been before, or asking someone on a date to the movies.
And then, you see others achieving and achieving, and you realize: Man, that could have been me.
In my opinion, this all has to do with how much you love yourself.
Loving yourself has to do with being at peace with every aspect of your life: how you look, how you portray yourself to others, how you think and act. A perfect life is not a life where you are just happy where you are. As life moves, you want to keep moving as well.
Loving yourself has to begin within you. You have to decide you want to be a better person. You have to stop negative thoughts flood into your head and take a seat in the back corner of your brain. You have to let yourself go and just take risks, because that is when you will start knowing yourself, and eventually loving yourself.
It's funny how we have the power to do everything we set our minds, to but our minds are the ones that trick us into not doing so.
In light of this, learning how to love yourself is not easy, and is not something that happens day by day. In fact, even today, I can say I don't fully love myself. That is something I struggle with every day, but every day I see myself improving towards a better me, and that makes me proud.
How to get to love yourself:
1. Give your mind a break
Stop overthinking. I don't know how your brain hasn't fried by now, but if you don't let it breathe, it definitely will before you turn 50. Take up a hobby to help release the energy that's settled in your head. Oh, you suffer from daily headaches? Get one of those head massagers and start watching more Netflix at the same time. You're welcome.
2. Let go, steadily
By let go, I mean of everything. People tend to get caught up into the past, or into themselves and their losses, or simply into wondering what could have been. Letting go of that means you're letting go of dependency; and dependency is one of the things that bring us down. Start being more independent, and you'll see that you'll have not only more original thoughts, but also more enlightenment moments about yourself. Watch a movie alone at a movie theater, whatever you like. Promise, it's not that bad.
3. Embrace your surroundings; if not, change them
A lot of people talk about how their surroundings make up their life. This is when you have to decide: do my surroundings make me happy? If they do, then you should wholeheartedly accept them and even improve them. This could be done by asking one of your best friends that you don't really talk to out to lunch, or simply by writing your experiences down in a journal. Whether you tend to be extroverted or introverted, there are different ways to change your surroundings, and every little thing makes a difference, whether it's your life or someone else's.
When you're not happy about your surroundings, well, then it's time to change them. I am not saying move to another city and start from scratch, because that's just too drastic. There's no reason to become homeless when you have a home; you just have to make it yours. For example, tweak something every day. Listen to different music, explore genres, or get an app that gives you positive quotes every day, like Chill (look for it in the App Store). Doing something different yet positive with your life will improve it, because you will realize that you are making the effort, something that wasn't there before.
4. Know that there will be those days
There will be days that it just won't happen, because we all have them. But those days aren't the days to give up on all the progress you've made. "Oh, I feel like crap so I'm just going to stay in my room and not talk to anyone" days. While I admit we all need days like this, this should happen like once a year. Talking to someone will air out your thoughts and make you realize you're not crazy, just a hormonal young adult that thought they had their life together -- when in fact, who does?
Now that I'm re-reading this, I realize that this all sounds like if not loving yourself means that you're depressed. And the answer to that is definitely not. Being depressed has a lot more background and connotations added to it. Yes, maybe not loving oneself is a reason to be depressed, yet not loving yourself doesn't mean you are. It means you forgot how to truly live life for a little bit. Loving yourself is something we all have within us /struggle within us/get proud within us. We're all different, yet no one else is living your life but you.
So, how are you gonna spend it?
