It started out early for me maybe around 6th grade. I was chunkier than most of the girls around me which to me made me stick out like a sore thumb. When in reality, I was way too critical of myself and nobody was really focused on my weight. They all had their own things they were dealing with.
Thinking this way made me see people differently, and so I closed myself off from people, ending with me really not making a lot of friends. As the years progressed, I was still chunky, but I realized that there were other girls just like me and who were proud to be who they were.
I didn't understand how they could be because all I wanted was to be skinny and fit in with the "popular girls".
High School was better, I went to a charter school where we had uniforms so it wasn't like we could wear revealing clothing. This also made it easier for people not to focus too much on looks and more on personality. I pushed myself to make new friends and to actually be social which helped boost my confidence.
I didn't let what I weight define who I was anymore. I'm older now and I still have my insecurities but I'm learning to love myself and my body. You have to love your body mentally and physically.
Mentally loving yourself is the hardest mountain to climb over.
You see that you may not look like other girls and feel ugly, but you are not. Everyone is beautiful. Yes, some girls may have curves and others may be skinny, some may be tall and others short. We come in all different sizes, shapes, and colors and we should all feel beautiful...
Because we are.
We need to physically love our bodies which means keeping it healthy so we can function. That could mean going walking or going to the gym. Get some fresh, air go on a hike. Don't say you can't do it, just because you think your body isn't capable of it. Push your limits and see what you can do.
"You Must Love Yourself Before Others Can Love You"-Leo Buscaglia.
I'm not fully there yet but I am learning how to love myself more and more every day and I hope that if anyone is in the same boat as I am they will look in the mirror and say to themselves " stop judging yourself constantly, you are a beautiful human being who can do anything".
