Shiki stood at the far end of the scramble crossing and took a deep breath. She clutched her knitted bag closer to her chest, as if she could calm her pounding heart with her hands.

It'll be fine, she kept repeating to herself. I'll be fine.

Both hands clenched around her phone, which she flipped open to read the last mail again.

>>We're all gonna meet at Hachiko today. Can you make it?

It was from Neku. Of course he already knew the truth of the price she paid to enter the Game. What about Beat and Rhyme? She briefly wondered about Joshua too. She knew Neku was hoping he'd be there too.

She'd never told Eri anything about what happened to them. Even so, Eri acted like she'd been gone for years when Shiki finally got up the courage to show up at her house.

"Oh my God!" was the first thing out of Eri's mouth as she flung her arms around Shiki's neck. "I was so worried! They said you'd been in an accident, but no one would tell me anything, not even if you were alive or not or whether I could visit you in the hospital! And I felt terrible, just awful, if the last thing I said to you was –"

But she shook her head fiercely, the ends of her hair tickling Shiki's cheek. "But it's ok now, right?" she pulled away to look pleadingly into Shiki's eyes. "Are we ok?"

Shiki felt everything that had gone through her mind that day, everything she went through in the UG, all the things she'd told Neku, and smiled.

"We're ok," she answered.

Eri flung her arms around Shiki again and pulled her inside.

"I can't believe this happened on summer break, I mean, you could've just showed up at school the next day and I never would have known the difference! Look, look!"

She tugged on Shiki's arm, pulling her into her room. The bed was made, and the desk looked little used apart from some art and fashion books, but the low coffee table they usually sat at was strewn with papers – some stacked haphazardly, others crumpled up both on the tabletop and the floor – notebooks, pens, markers, rulers, and some more art reference books for good measure. It looked like an office collided with a design school and exploded.

"I didn't move anything from that day," Eri said breathlessly. "I couldn't bear to, after I heard. No new designs, I didn’t even clean up. Here," she grabbed some pages and stuffed them into Shiki's hands.

"What we were working on, right?"

Shiki glanced down at the pages. A pair of dark cropped pants, a lacy white halter top and a faded black denim sleeveless jacket. The last piece, Shiki remembered suddenly, they'd been arguing over when Eri burst out with the thing, the one sentence, that made Shiki leave. She'd left the house blinking back tears, not paying a bit of attention to where she was walking when she stepped off the curb the exact moment a car was taking a hard corner.

She also remembered what Eri said just before that, before everything devolved.

"You'd look so cute in this, Shiki!" her eyes were bright. Shiki shook her head and blushed. Almost everything they made ended up going into Eri's closet. Shiki preferred her loose, baggy, off-brand clothing, which Eri, a true child of Shibuya, could never fathom.

"Come on, you know I don't have the legs for these pants! This is definitely the type of thing a designer would put on a model to make people think they'd look good, but you know how that turns out," Eri rolled her eyes.

"But you're so tall, and you have the lines, and please, please, please say you'll at least try it on when we finish it."

That was when the argument began.

Shiki smiled again, and laid the pages and her bag of supplies down on the table.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's finish it,"

Eri shrieked and plopped down next to her, grabbing a pencil and a fresh sheet of paper. With broad, light, even strokes, she began a new sketch. Shiki saw the figure's head, the rounded chin, full cheeks and short dark hair.

"What are you drawing me for?" she spluttered, trying to reach for the sketch. Eri snatched it away.

"How else am I supposed to imagine how it will look on the model?" her lips soured into a pout as she added a few strokes. "Please, let's not fight again. The first time was awful enough,"

"I know. I know, it's just –"

"I know. You just won't realize how cute you really are. Lucky for you, you've got me for a best friend, right?" Eri flashed her a bright smile and returned to work.

Right. Lucky.

Shiki recalled, briefly, the freedom she felt upon first discovering in the UG that she somehow had Eri's body. Somehow, everything seemed easier, clearer, despite the suddenly desperate circumstances. Experiencing for the first time what it was like to exist, to speak her mind, even act a little weird without fear of being laughed at or ridiculed. Shiki thought she owed her survival in the UG to that one thing.

"Just you wait." Eri added another detail with a flourish. "Once you put this on, you'll see what clothes can really do. Then your closet makeover can finally begin!"

Shiki rifled through her supply bag and grimaced.

"I'll have to go shopping for some more fabrics. We barely have anything to even start with,"

Eri shrugged. "You've got enough for swatches, right? That's all we need for now,"

Shiki sighed. "What are we doing swatches for? It's so useless,"

Eri carefully lay down her pencil and turned to Shiki with a deadly serious expression.

"Shiki. When we're in design school, these will be important. They'll want everything planned out before we can even think about going to the sewing machines. We need to get into the habit of organizing and planning now. Do you even know how competitive those schools are?"

Shiki shook her head, although Eri didn't notice as she was staring off into the distance, her eyes sparkling.

"I want to go to the best school Japan has to offer. I'm going to work for the biggest design houses in the world. Shiki," she suddenly gripped Shiki's arm. "We're going to be famous!"

She allowed herself a small smile as the signal changed to green and stepped off the curb. The idea of fame in itself gave her the shakes, but Eri's enthusiasm was always infectious. For now, though, they had to settle for a quick trip to the fabric store over the weekend. The way Eri talked about this new design, and how it would look on her, Shiki could almost believe it had some sort of magical powers, that it could transform her into someone normal, without any of her usual awkwardness and lack of social skills.

She was coming up on the statue of Hachiko now. Her feet slowed unbidden and she stopped just under the dog's shadow, taking more deep breaths. Scanning the square for any familiar faces, she jumped badly when her phone buzzed in her hands.

>>See you xD we're over by the benches in front of the station.

Eri was skeptical when Shiki first told her about Neku, Beat, and Rhyme. Believing they were internet friends, as Shiki had no better or believable explanation, she very nearly insisted on coming with Shiki to meet them in person.

"You don't know if these people are really who they say they are, Shiki. You can't go alone,"

Shiki assured her, stressing they were meeting in a busy public place in the middle of the day. Eri finally relented, but said, "Ok, but keep your phone out and on my number the whole time. I'll get help if you need it. Promise?"

She stumbled into motion again, heading over to their meeting place. Moments later she spotted the bright orange spikes haloed by headphones that she'd grown so accustomed to in a single week. Neku wasn't looking through the crowd for her. He folded his arms across his chest, saying something to a tall hulking figure rolling a skateboard back and forth with his foot.

Beat. And right beside him, Rhyme, giggling behind her hand at whatever Neku just said.

Shiki's heart pounded. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all. She wished she'd spent more time with just Neku first, more time with Eri and away from all the Reaper Game stuff and any of its reminders.

"Hi," she said quietly once she was within earshot.

Beat was in the middle of saying, "Why, you-" but cut off as the three of them turned as one. Her heart redoubled its pounding. Then, Neku flashed her a huge grin.

"Hey Shiki. Glad you could finally make it,"

Rhyme smiled as well, but Shiki could sense some hesitation. Beat frowned.

"Eh? Whachu say, Phones? You tryna punk me or somethin'?"

Neku frowned right back.

"Um, no, why?"

"Cause. I know Shiki," he turned to her, scratching his head. "And you definitely ain't her."

This was it. Her worst fears realized almost immediately.

Rhyme, on the other hand, let out a small gasp.

"Your entry fee," she said.

"Right!" Neku exclaimed a little too loudly, his shoulders sagging a bit. "Maybe I should have said something before, but I wasn't sure it was my place,"

He glanced over at her, but she just shook her head slightly, trying to keep her lip from trembling too much.

"Hold up, hold up," Beat's frown deepened and his brow furrowed. "You ain't making no sense. What's going on? Who is she?"

"Beat, we told you, that's Shiki," Rhyme started to explain, but stopped short and looked around the square. "Maybe we should find somewhere to sit down and talk about this. Is that ok?" she peered up at Shiki.

"Ah. Y-yes, that's ok,"

"Good idea. How about over there?" Neku gestured to a Starbucks on the corner.

"All I know is, someone better explain this quick," Beat growled.

"Nii-chan, please. Just give us a minute,"

Once they settled in, Neku and Rhyme both looked to her.

"Do you want to say it?" Neku asked.

"I think you should," Rhyme said. "Only you know what really happened to you, Shiki,"

Shiki cleared her throat, staring down at her coffee.

"All right." She nodded, but said nothing further.

"Anytime you wanna explain what the hell's going on," Beat was lounging in his chair, one foot on the edge of the table, despite Rhyme's reprimands. He had elected not to buy a drink, as he said, "I don't take none of them bullshit fruity coffees,"

"Hey, this isn't easy for any of us, all right?" Neku said. He turned to Shiki. "Take your time. Whenever you're ready,"

She nodded again and finally slid her phone to the center of the table.

"Yeah, that's her," Beat said shortly. "You friends or somethin'?"

Shiki sighed. "How should I explain this?"

"Take your time," Neku repeated.

"Beat," she started, struck by some inspiration. "Can I ask you what your entry fee was to the Reaper Game?"

"Hah? How's she know 'bout all that?" he glared at Neku.

"Just answer the question," Neku rubbed at his eyes. Beat grunted and turned his softening gaze to Rhyme.

"It was Rhyme's memories, wasn’t it?"

Shiki nodded. "For me, it was my appearance,"

"What the hell is that s'pose to mean? She was in the UG?"

Shiki pointed at the picture on her phone, at Eri.

"When I woke up in the UG, I looked like my best friend. She was the person I envied the most. It was horrible," she shook her head. "Especially when I actually look like this,"

She indicated the other side of the picture, to the girl with short, straight, dark brown hair, round face, black rimmed glasses, and a small smile.

"Eh, when are y'all gonna start makin' some sense?"

"Beat," she pleaded. "This is me. This is what I really look like. I'm Shiki Misaki. My best friend, the girl I was pretending to be in the UG, is Eri,"

She quietly took back her phone in the ensuing silence, trying as hard as she could to keep back her tears.

"Anyway, I'm sorry I'm not prettier, or friendlier, or anything like what you were expecting,"

Beat swung his leg down and leaned forward, gripping the edges of the table.

"Hey, now that's –" he tsked and looked away. "How'm I s'pose to know you ain't trickin' us or whatever,"

"I believe it," Rhyme's voice was barely above a whisper. "We all went through a lot in the UG. Lost a lot, made a lot of sacrifices,"

Beat merely grunted again.

"Do you remember the first day we met in the UG?" Shiki asked. "You didn't want to tell Neku the rules of the Game, but you were ok with telling me,"

"How d'you know that?"

Rhyme elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ow! Oh, right," he stared at her for a long while, his gaze sliding over every one of her features, until she could feel her face growing hot and could no longer hold his gaze.

"So you're the real Shiki," he said finally, as if to officially confirm it. She nodded, Rhyme sighed and rolled her eyes, and Neku rubbed at his forehead in an exasperated manner.

Beat beamed.

"Well, shit! 'Sup? I feel like we're meeting for the first time!"

Shiki blinked, speechless at first. She'd never seen him smile like that before. Somehow, it made her heart pound. But she managed a laugh in the end.

"I feel like that too, somehow,"

"Well, great," Neku said flatly. "Now that we're all reacquainted, can we actually do something?"

As they left the coffee shop, Shiki said quietly, "So, Joshua won't be here then?"

Beat merely scratched his head again, Rhyme shook her head a little, and Neku slowed in front of them, not turning around.

"No. he won't," he said.

They continued on in silence, Shiki's face growing hot again.

How is it I always know how to say exactly the wrong thing?

She sipped her coffee, blinking, swallowing hard, hunching her shoulders closer to her body as Beat fell in step beside her.

"Yo," he said in a low voice. She didn’t answer, keeping her lips pressed to the straw of her drink while he idly spun a wheel on his skateboard with his thumb.

"Listen," he began again. "Phones said – I mean, it ain't like he made me but –"

He grunted and yanked on the hem of his hat.

"Look, I'm sorry, a'ight? I didn’t mean to make you feel bad or nothin', I just –"

He stopped and gently grabbed her under the elbow to make her stop too.

"Hey, why don't you say somethin'? You weren't all shy and quiet like this before,"

Tears sprung to her eyes before she could do anything. She yanked her arm from his grasp and backed up a step.

"Well, maybe I'm the one who should apologize then," she tried to keep her voice steady. "I'm truly sorry I'm not living up to your expectations. I won't' waste any more of your time,"

And with that, she turned on her heel and began walking back to the station.

"Oi! Shiki!" Beat yelled after her. She didn’t stop, and couldn't help noticing, as she rubbed at her eyes,

none of them followed her.