Why Self Deprecation Does Not Equal Humility

Did you know that you are allowed to think of yourself as great?

You don’t have to be self deprecating to be humble. I’m one of the worst culprits for this, usually under the guise of humor, but I think a lot of us are guilty of it. We have the tendency to talk ourselves down, because we don’t want to seem egotistical, or big-headed, or we want to be funny (think of any comedian you’ve ever seen, or listened to, if they’re choosing not to pick on somebody else, they’re usually picking on themselves).

Quite often, we call ourselves stupid, or ugly, or boring, or lame. We say that we’re too fat or too skinny, too spotty. We make fun of our own glasses, crooked teeth, dress sense, singing ability, sporting aptitude (would now be a good time to say that I have none? No, probably not). We pick apart all of those things and whatever else we can think of, just to prove that we’re not ‘up’ ourselves, we don’t have big egos, and we know how to laugh at ourselves, or to lighten the mood and make others laugh in the face of our misfortune.

Being able to laugh at yourself is a good thing.

These are skills that are important, because they make hard days easier, and they give us the ability to cope when life goes sour (I for one have a very dark sense of humor, and let me tell you, it has served me well), but it’s time that we, and by 'we' I mean everyone, learn the difference between being funny, and mean, even to ourselves. It's time that we learn the difference between making ourselves feel better, and making matters worse. It’s time that we learn that self deprecating does not equal humble, and nor is it the only way to come across that way.

Acknowledge That You Are Talented.

It’s hard, at first especially, to acknowledge the things that we’re good, or talented at, and not put ourselves down, and for many it’s not something that comes naturally, but it’s time we started trying.

Stay Humble.

You can be humble, and down to earth, while still knowing how great you are. You are allowed to be confident of the things that you are good at. If you are a great singer, you’re allowed to admit that, and to be comfortable in your abilities, and happy to share them. You don’t have to act like you’re bad, just to not seem to egotistical.

You can be open about your good points.

You can like yourself. You can think you look great, are great, and do great. That’s not big-headed, that’s self love and it’s important. As long as you never put anybody else down, or make them feel like less, you are free to go ahead loving you, and the things you can do. You are still humble, but you are also honest, because you know what you are good at and you are not ashamed or afraid to admit it.

This isn’t a skill that comes over night, and there’s probably always going to be a little bit of self deprecation in us, because that’s the way that we are cultured to be, but use it to make you better, and build you up. Stop trying to tear yourself down.

Be humble, be kind, be a person who boosts others self esteem, but remember that you are entitled to boost your own every once in a while too.