Self-Confidence.
Having self-confidence doesn't come easy anymore. It never really has. With a world full of social media and advertisements, sometimes we feel trapped in a world full of picture-perfect humans. Instagram is full of fitness models that can make us feel guilty about how we look and live our lives. And even though most are trying to inspire others to be healthy, it can make us beat ourselves up for not having the perfect abs or butt or a flat stomach.
We all have something about ourselves that we wish we could change, usually physically. But when you sit back and think of that guy or girl you wish you looked like, they are probably thinking the same thing. And there is someone out there that wishes they looked the way you do, or at least could make a part of themselves look like you.
What I'm getting at is that we have to stop comparing ourselves to others. Cliché or not, we are all beautiful how we are. And what truly matters is how beautiful we are on the inside. Looks are just an added bonus.
I used to be the type to compare myself to celebrities or other girls in school. I never understood how it was possible for so many people to be so beautiful. I started getting into makeup slowly. I would limit myself from certain foods. I would only shop at certain stores rather than try to save any birthday or holiday money that I received as a gift.
Then I noticed how many other people were doing it. Both my female AND male friends. And it was mind blowing to me because I always found them to be attractive. That was when I started to think the same of myself. Slowly. It was never easy to not compare myself. But I did it.
Rather than forcing myself to wake up everyday to damage my hair with a straight iron, I learned to love my natural hair. I started to wear less and less makeup because whenever I had it on, I didn't feel like me (and I sucked at doing it). I stopped worrying about paying $70 for three articles of clothing at the mall and started thrifting. Instead of ignoring all junk food and forcing myself to go for jogs and doing crunches in my room, I got a gym membership and educated myself on portions and foods that would make me feel better. I learned to love working out for the benefits, not the looks. It took a lot of time. A lot. But I'm happy where I am.
Self-confidence isn't being cocky or stuck up. It isn't thinking you're better than anyone else. Self-confidence is being genuinely happy with how you are. It's not comparing yourself to others and feeling God awful that you don't look like them. It's having favorite parts of your body and personality. It's knowing that you ARE beautiful in different ways. It's knowing someone is judging you and not giving a SHIT.
I still compare the old me to other people. Sometimes I'll see an old photo of myself and compare it to how girls at that age now look. But then I remember that for the most part, I was happy during that time. I had my family, I had good friends, I was healthy.
I also compare my current self to people. But now, I stop and realize, I'm beautiful too. I think about the things I do have. I have a family that supports me. I have amazing friends. I have a job and awesome coworkers. I have the opportunity to go to college. I'm out of toxic relationships. I'm happy, for the most part. I like my style. I like how I look with and without makeup. I like my body. What is there to be different?
It's going to take time if you're still trying to get where you are. But, do it for yourself. Do it because you truly want to. Don't change something about yourself just because you want to look like someone else. Change is good, but only if you feel it is needed. Don't force yourself to work out to look like the VS models. Do it so you can be healthy. Don't wear makeup only because people say you look better with it. Do it because you enjoy it. Don't think that you're not worth it because you ARE. The only reason we should be changing ourselves is to benefit from it in a positive way. Not because some stupid CEO of a clothing line says we have to.
The best way to start is to face your fears. And by that, I mean the things about yourself that you don't like. For me, it was going out in public with no makeup. And now I go most days with little-no makeup on. It was also taking a photo of myself in a bikini and not caring what anyone would think.
Put yourself out of your comfort zone. Try new things. Be brave. It can be scary trying things you're not used to. But, most importantly, love who you are. Because there is no one out there quite like you.
