"But if you just ____, everything would be okay."

"If you just stopped ____, I would be so much happier."

One of the biggest problems in relationships is seeing potential in people. No, really.

You meet somebody, talk to them, and discover all the potential they have just waiting for them... that is if they just stopped doing the things that are holding them back.

In some of my own relationships, romantic and otherwise, I find myself seeing people as who they could be instead of loving who they are. Sound familiar? But the problem is, we set ourselves up for disappointment when we see potential in other people.

Seeing what someone could be is so different than who they actually are.

We define potential according to our own wishes and beliefs. When you urge others to see potential according to your own standards, they might begin to carry lots of resentment and an inescapable feeling that, not only are they not accepted but that they will never be good enough for you.

Yes, it's generally a good thing to want the best for our loved ones, however, you must remind yourself that it doesn't matter what we see them as; that mold of a person may never happen. They might never get to where you want them to be, and the "if" scenario you keep entertaining may never happen.

So love them where they are.

This doesn't mean that you have to love where this person is at in their life, but if you don't accept where they are, you'll never be happy- your relationship will suffer because of this. Instead, support them. Love them unconditionally. Stop driving yourself crazy because they aren't who YOU think they should be.

Don't lower your standards, but have faith that you chose these people to be in your life for a reason, and that one day they might show you why.

Accept who they are. Accept where they're at- love them where they're at for as long as you can.