1. STOP comparing yourself to others. Any time I ever began to profess jealousy about another individual, my mom would chime in with this quote: “If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself,” (Max Hermann). There is always going to be someone prettier than you, skinnier than you, more successful than you, etc. But guess what? There are also a billion people out there that would kill to have everything you have. There is not just one type of pretty, not just one type of body and not just one type of success. Measuring yourself in accordance to others is simply exhausting, frustrating and entirely pointless, and you WILL become "vain and bitter". Compare yourself to no one but yourself and you will be at peace.
2. Strive towards your goals, but appreciate what you have. All too often we find ourselves saying "Once I lose 20 pounds I'll be happy" or "Once I have a job I really love I'll be happy". It's wonderful, and absolutely necessary to work towards completing goals that will make you proud and bring you closer to where you want to be. But do not, for one second, take what you currently have for granted. Do not spend so much time working toward your goals that you dismiss your present life entirely. Enjoy every moment, because the truth is, even when you reach those goals, you will have new ones in mind. If you spend all your time longing for something more, your whole life will quickly pass you by.
3. Do nice things for people without wasting a thought about whether they will do the same in return. Do good things because you want to. If you see something your friend would love and you really want to get it, then get it. Don't evaluate whether she/he will do the same for you. If you do good things only because you want people to do them back, then don't do them. Because the truth is, that doesn't always happen and it is tiresome and pointless to try to get people to act a certain way.
4. Do not dwell on what has passed. Another golden quote taught to me by mother dearest; “Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering,” (Ida Scott Taylor). As a professional "overthinker", I used to repeat past embarrassing encounters and conversations in my mind over and over and over until I felt sick. But what on earth is the point in that? Learn from your mistakes, move on, and don't look back.�
5. Get outside. There's rarely a time when a walk through the woods, a picnic in the park, or a hike up a mountain won't make you feel better.
6. Pick your battles. Remember that the world does not revolve around you. This is probably the piece of advice that has helped me most in dealing with hurtful encounters as an overly sensitive person. The truth is, when people hurt your feelings, or do something selfish and rude, most of the time they do not realize or quite frankly, do not care that they have done so. It is not their personal vendetta against you, some people are simply insensitive or unaware. Though this does not justify what they have said, it is just the way some people are. Instead of becoming upset, realize that if someone is rude to you for no reason, it has nothing to do with you. Brush it off and don't let the negativity sink in. Save your breath and your sanity, for a time when fighting for something is really worth it.
7. Have a hobby. In a day and age in which it is so easy to pass time by scrolling through the many news feeds of social media, it is essential to have something in your life to feed your soul. It can be anything; hiking, drawing, cooking, reading, learning the ukulele, making bracelets, rollerblading, etc. Just make sure you have something to enrich your life in a way much more fulfilling than getting likes on Instagram.
8. Do not believe that change is bad. As much as unwanted change can often be hard, sad, and uncomfortable; do not ever tell yourself that it is bad. A new situation is what you make of it, and you must go into every new experience with a positive outlook, because things are almost never what they seem upon first glance.
9. Make a decision, and stick with it. Any person that has trouble making decisions knows how mindbogglingly frustrating it is to be asked to make a choice in which you have no strong opinion or in which you have an equally strong opinion about every option. I have slowly trained myself to become more decisive and so can you. If all the options seem equal to you, which is often the problem in one of these situations, then the key is to just choose one, and give it entirely no more thought. Do not allow your brain to wander back to "what if's" about the other choice. I call it decision making FOMO (fear of missing out) and it is a horrible and silly thing to clutter your mind with.
10. Don't just appreciate, CELEBRATE the little things. I can honestly say that one of the things that causes me the most happiness in life is when someone makes me laugh really hard. I absolutely love the moment when someone delivers a clever line and everyone in the room responds with excited laughter. I believe those type of situations to be some of the strongest magic life offers. Celebrate compliments and jamming out in the car with your best friends. Celebrate seeing a deer on the side of the road, and celebrate having a friendly conversation with a stranger in the grocery store. Why should big events like prom, birthdays and weddings be the only time to rejoice? They are far too limited. There is something to celebrate everyday, so don't forget.
11. Remind yourself that you are doing just fine. We are each our own worst critic. Stop beating yourself up over the fact that you haven't had an internship yet, or that your GPA is not as high as you were trying for. We are SO young! You will find success, and your time is NOT running out. As long as you have a few good friends and more happy moments in your life than sad, you are doing just fine. In fact, you are doing fantastic! Everything is going to be OK.
