“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”
I see so many people wishing and waiting to be happy, as if happiness is some sort of destination or attainable goal. The truth is, happiness is a fleeting state of mind and depends entirely on the circumstances, so there’s no way to ever “achieve” happiness. So what’s the key to being happy? You have to let go. Find freedom in knowing that you don’t have to be happy all the time, or even the majority of the time. It might sound a bit backwards, but letting go of seeking happiness will bring you more joy.
Are you a “when, then” sort of person? When I reach my goal body, then I’ll be happy. When I’m making $$$ a year, then I’ll be happy. When that idiot realizes they’re in love with me, when I move to a new city, when I have different friends, when my parents get back together, when I become famous, when I have nicer clothes, when I travel abroad, then I’ll be happy. If this sounds like you, I’m guessing this reality check could benefit you the most. Achieving certain goals may bring moments of happiness in your life, but that doesn’t mean they’ll last. Even if you accomplished everything you could dream of today, tomorrow will bring new desires and dissatisfactions.
What should you focus on then, if it’s not happiness? Shifting your perspective to concentrate on being content, grateful, or joyful will help you to see life for what it is: a marvelous gift. The best thing you can do for your happiness is to compulsively look on the bright side. Look at every awful situation and tell yourself one (potentially) amazing thing about it. Failed a final? Maybe it’s a wakeup call, telling you to be more dedicated to your studies. Didn’t get that apartment you were dreaming about? Maybe you're destined for a place even better. If you look on the bright side often enough it will become second nature, and you’ll naturally find yourself relishing even the simplest of things, like curling up on the couch with your favorite blanket or drinking a cold glass of water.
Some people might think that being okay with where your life is at means that you’ve given up on trying to be happy, but that’s not the case. Shifting your perspective doesn’t mean you’re accepting that your life will never improve and that you’re giving up on your dreams. Instead, it means that you’ve recognized that it’s okay to not be living your ideal life this very moment, and you’re taking time to enjoy the journey towards your final destination.
If you wait to be happy until you have what you want, you’ll be discontent for the rest of your life. So try being content, grateful, and joyful for a change of pace. I promise you won't regret it.
