"So Bod picked the red and yellow nasturtiums, and he carried them over to Mother Slaughter’s headstone, so cracked and worn and weathered that all it said now was, 'LAUGH', which had puzzled the local historians for over a hundred years. He put down the flowers in front of the stone, respectfully," (297).

After recently finishing Neil Gaiman's "The Graveyard Book," this quote stood out to me the most. This book, about a boy who is raised within the walls of a graveyard, was a book that I had wanted to read for a while and finally picked up at my local bookstore.

The book itself isn't what I want to talk about, but I highly recommend it to anyone wanting something fresh to read. This quote however, has me wanting to discuss the concept of cemeteries and graveyards and why they are important to us.

I was asked once at my high school open house why I had so many pictures of my family at cemeteries. I never thought it to be weird or wrong to have these types of pictures, or to print them or publish them, or even paste them on a poster board for others to see.

Visiting the cemetery has always been a normal thing, which I am sure is true for a lot of other families. Your very first visit there might not be your favorite visit, but after, it becomes more than a place for the dead. It is a place that lets you do the talking for those who can't speak anymore. Whether you are talking to them about your life, or talking to the rest of your family about them, the cemetery becomes a place for learning and wonder.

Think about it: Have you ever been driving around town, sightseeing, admiring the houses nearby, curious what these people do for a living or what kind of lives they lead? The same can be said as you pass by a headstone at a cemetery. There are some that contain beautiful etchings, amazing flower displays, or wonderful sentiments quoted under the names listed. You wonder about their lives, who they were if you didn't know them personally. I know a cemetery shouldn't be made out to be a tourist attraction, but if you take the time, respectfully, to walk through one; there is a lot to see and learn.

Through our tradition, I've learned to respect others who lived before me. I have been told the history of my family, of what they did and who they knew, and why they were buried where they are. I feel connected once again to those who aren't there, and take pride in the responsibility of decorating their headstones. I've started to walk through other parts of the cemetery, to see what others have put on their headstones, have placed on graves, and to try and find more of my family.

In relation to Gaiman's quote, the idea of Mother Slaughter's 'LAUGH' is what made me realize that, even if unintentional, there are lessons that we leave behind that leave marks in the living world. My family taught me that death is a part of life, and this allowed me to accept that a cemetery or graveyard isn't always a place for sadness. I find it peaceful, quiet, and a normal spot to frequent.

I also see now that like Mother Slaughter's headstone; some may not be fully represented in a graveyard, or even at all. This doesn't mean you don't have a place to honor them, but can carry their memory or remember them elsewhere, as some do when they scatter ashes or place markers in new places.

So, wherever you are, remember that there was someone there before you. Honor those who lived, and live your life honorably. A cemetery, graveyard, or even a headstone isn't your only connection to those who have died. They are pieces of history, love, or respect for a soul that once held life.