(Trigger Warning: This article contains sexual assault, depression, and suicidal experiences and profanity.)
Healing from assault isn't easy. Healing from a bad break-up isn't a walk in the park either. It's a journey full of screaming, crying, and lots of relatable music. So sometimes, to get better, you got to write some bad poetry. Here is my poem on how it feels to live without HIM.
I thought I had it together
I thought it was easy
One or two days of crying and everything would be ...Fine
He's a dick
I hadn't loved him for months, hadn't touched him in years
Why am I now breaking?
Why does it feel as if there is an emotional scar starting in my mind and ripping into my heart?
I am scared
So fucking scared
Of being alone
Of facing what he did to me
sorting through our stuff, the stuff we spent years building and
now I must take a hammer to everything and break it into what is his
and what is mine
screw the universe
screw the friends that say to move on
screw the family who says take time to heal
screw the people who say give him a second chance
screw me for hating him, but missing him and never loving him
None of the advice seems right
Nothing seems to be working
Am I healing?Will I ever be better?
What defines better?
I feel everything at once
All the anger at what he put me through
All the sadness at how broken I now am
All the relief that I'm free
All the fear as to whats next
And, yet I feel nothing at all
He assaulted me
He dated me
He said he loved me
And screw these feelings