As I get older, I have come to appreciate education.

Being in a family where I attended a private, Catholic college-prep school, I realize how fortunate I am.

I lived in an okay neighborhood and my school was in a little rougher area, but I still received a great education that propelled me to aspire to moving into a doctorate program, receiving a PhD in Psychology (specialty unknown still [sorry, mom and dad]) and moving on to teach at a medium sized university.

However, there is one major repercussion that never fails to leave my mind.

It could be the media portrayal, but there seems to be an ever increasing amount in school shootings. Being on the same circuit as Chicago local news, almost every other story involves shootings or the "homicide summer", where we had a record high number of shootings. Even googling "gun violence" brings up a number of bone chilling images, stories and, unfortunately, a track record that gets worse. The one thing I am so afraid of is losing my students to gun violence.

When I was in school, the only thing I had to worry about were tornado warnings and fire drills (I grew up in the Midwest). I had never even heard of an active shooter drill until my brother came home from elementary school, saying that they practiced “a new kind of drill”. I still had no idea what he was talking about.

Little did I know that the next year (my senior year), my school would practice those same drills. In case someone broke through the front or side doors of my guarded high school, we would know to stay away from windows, the door, and that our teacher would be the first to go (worst case scenario).

After working for years on my own degree and planning to educate children and young adults, I could never imagine hearing (or even seeing) one of my students die.

Educators work year-round, trying to get to know their students while educating them, and there have been far too many cases in which that time has been cut short.

How about the Sandy Hook shootings? There were some teachers forced to watch their students’ faces as they were shot down by someone with a very violent mission. Some were even forced to deliver the news to parents and guardians.

How about the Virginia Tech shooting? It has been classified as a massacre. This was no accident. The murderer created a plan with an intent to kill on a “gun free campus.”

How about SuccessTech Academy (OH), Louisiana Tech College (LA), Northern Illinois University (IL), Columbine High School and countless others?

How do you tell a teacher that their student was murdered?

How do we honor the dead students and people?

How do we ensure that it doesn’t happen again?

We don’t.

It keeps happening. Obviously, we're doing something wrong.

Sometimes I wished I wouldn’t have to live in a world where wondering if allowing assault rifles to be sold so easily wasn't a question.

Sometimes I wished I lived in a world where principals didn’t have to announce a practice active shooter drill.

I wish my brother didn’t have to worry about having a stranger enter his school and hurt him (he was almost abducted one time near his middle school).

I wish my sister didn’t wander around her school in a big city afraid that someone would come and try to hurt her.

I wish it was something I didn’t have to worry about.

I wish I didn’t have to sign up for a RED alert on-campus for texts warning me that there was a dangerous person around.

I wish violence surrounding education wouldn’t make it in the history books of the future.

One thing I know for sure is that I shouldn’t have to train students to be prepared in the case of an active shooter. I wish I lived in a world in which students would be given the right to an education and pursuing their dreams and didn’t have to worry about dying.

As a future educator (and possibly parent) there is no doubt in my mind that I still have to face these challenges. I have to face the fact that my students or colleagues’ students may be harmed while at school. I have to face the fact that I or my students may die when we are only working to further education.

Active shooting is not something I should be forced to have in the back of my mind when I want to inspire young people. The fact that safety is even called into question is something that shouldn’t be a question. I'd rather have my students alive than the right to bear arms.

I can understand target shooting and hunting for sport (things I did with my family as a kid). However, what makes a person so adamant about having an assault rifle to shoot an animal? Nonetheless, how do we pass this off as a “hobby” and not worry about the safety of our students? I understand having a hobby, but there is a point to where we should question if hobbies endanger further safety, overall, the safety of students pursuing an education.

We can't pass these cases off as "the crazies got the guns... somehow." Many of the people are pronounced "unstable", but where is their care beforehand? Nonetheless, why are there so few requirements to obtain guns? In my home state of Illinois, there are gun safety courses a person must complete, along with obtaining a FOID card, to operate a firearm. How many crimes are there in Chicago alone, despite how "regulated" and "safe" obtaining a gun is?

I am fighting for the right of people in places of worship, education and living to have safe lives and not have to worry about being brutally murdered in front of those who love and support them. We can’t control this problem with more security. We need more safety first.