When my school counselor first explained peer pressure to my fifth grade class, she showed a video that depicted young teens smoking a cigarette on the curb outside of a normal suburban middle school. A seemingly shy, vulnerable girl walks by the group of smokers and the kids offer her a puff. The timid girl denies the offer and tries to walk away when other members of the group start taunting her. They tell her “everybody smokes”, “everybody drinks”, and “its the cool thing to do”.
In my 19 years of living, I have never experienced this visual of peer pressure. If I ever denied a drink, or a smoke, I never felt pressured or taunted like the girl was in the video.
The kind of peer pressure I have struggled with is the enormous weight that is feeling like I have to put myself in a partying environment (frat party, bar, etc) in order to feel good about myself. It's as if being in those social situations, posting pictures from the party, and feeling awful the next day are considered trademark characteristics of a cool and fun person.
I have thought a lot about why I have experienced this pressure and I believe these feelings come from my exposure to an American culture in which partying and college are go hand-in-hand. Ask Asher Roth, watch the movie Neighbors, or ask your parents what they did in college and it all comes back to this image of a crowded house with a keg and loud music. I cannot recall a pop culture depiction of college in which partying wasn’t the main form of socializing, and that seems to influence swaths of 18-year-old college freshman in crop tops. I am one of them.
So…… If I encountered my school counselor from fifth grade, I think I’d have a few questions for her regarding my real-world experience of peer pressure.
I know that I cannot be the only student who just isn't good at drinking alcohol, or doesn’t enjoy hitting the beer bong three nights in a row. I know I am also not the only college student who wishes staying in on a Friday to study is as good for making friends as it is for my GPA. Some people enjoy having fun and interacting with people, but not binge drinking regularly. I cannot be the only one.
I am going into my second year of college significantly confused about what my college experience is supposed to be. The look of judgement on my friend’s faces when I suggest I might stay home instead of go to a party is enough to inflate this balloon of pressure that hangs over my head and makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.
To the counselor that told me peer pressure was a group of kids offering me a cigarette after school, why didn’t you prepare me for this?
You told me to “just say no”, but in the age of college binge drinking, how do I say “no” and not get left behind in the dust?
