Homework is usually boring, tedious, or impossible. Once in a blue moon there is an amusing assignment or an interesting project, but these are few and far between. For seven week terms, homework can be the difference between snowflaking and getting a degree. Therefore, no matter how hard it is to get one’s butt into an unforgiving wooden chair, doing homework is vital to academic success. If you’re struggling to get started on your work, I’ve compiled a brief list of all the things you could be doing that are worse than doing homework. You’re welcome.

1. Applying to college.

Remember rewriting the same essay a hundred times then tossing it and starting over? How about the gazillion talks on how to stand out in the applicant pool and acing the SAT/ACTs and what to wear to an interview? But also, don’t worry, test scores don’t really matter, except you’d better do well, or else. Feel free to stress out for several months as to the fate of the rest of your life. Here’s a glossy brochure to make you feel better.

2. Finding a spider in your room.

Out of the corner of your eye, something moves. Or maybe you just sensed its maleficent presence. But there it is, a spider in your sanctuary, the place where you’re supposed to be safe from all evil. If it’s a small spider, you grab gloves, a shoe, and put on long sleeves and a face protector before going in for the kill. If it’s a large spider, you scream and run for help, terror coursing through your veins.

4. Realizing you were given the wrong drink from dunks.

Nothing is more devastating than getting an iced coffee when in actuality you ordered an iced tea. That first sip shatters the illusion that there is beauty and love and hope in this broken, broken world. The sun no longer shines as brightly as a gloom settles upon the earth.

5. Getting lost in Maine in the dead of winter with no cell phone.

My friend and I and her dog decided to walk across a frozen lake then take a snowmobile track home. Except the track was covered in a foot of snow and much less efficient than the lake route. We trudged for five hours before we finally found our way home after asking a mail woman for directions. Seeing a real, live human (other than my dear friend) after several hours of stomping threw snow was quite relieving. Without thinking, I asked the mail lady, “Do you know the roads around here?” My friend (and probably the mail woman and definitely the dog) have judged me ever since. The lady was very nice though and pointed us towards the correct road. Her parents weren’t even worried about us because it was still just barely light when we finally arrived back.

Well there you have it, four things that are worse than doing homework. So get crack-a-lackin’ and do your work. Be thankful for all the things that you’re not doing instead.